Least Important Things
A podcast about movies, friendship, and finding meaning in the most important of the least important things in our lives.
Least Important Things
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
“Here’s to Imoteph. May the bugger actually come back for this movie, please.”
We’re dividing and conquering as we complete the trilogy to talk about the oft-forgotten third installment of The Mummy franchise for our special rewatch series, The Mummycast. It’s The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor!
Host Luke Ferris is joined by geopolitical history expert Mike Wynne and someone we didn’t recast, Zach Hall, to unpack the absurdity, the CGI yetis, and the absolute chaos of this action-adventure that looks as out of place as it did in August 2008.
---
Catch new episodes of Least Important Things every Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube.
Support Least Important Things on Patreon
You can be part of the show by leaving a voicemail here.
You can email the show at leastimportantthings@gmail.com or reach out via social media at the links below.
Read our articles and learn more about the show at www.leastimportantthings.com
---
Sources for this episode:
- Royalty-free music and sound effects via Artlist.com
- The Mummy 3 (2008) - Official Trailer 2 - Brendan Fraser Movie HD
Follow Least Important Things:
All content falls under fair use: any copying of copyrighted material is done for a limited, educational and “transformative” purpose, such as to comment upon, criticize, or parody a copyrighted work. Such uses can be done without permission from the copyright owner.
Gentlemen, before we get started, I want to give a toast that I think is apropos of today's episode. Here's to Immotep. May the bugger please come back to this franchise. Cheers. Gentlemen, let's divide and conquer and say hello to my Yeti friend. It's the Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor coming up next.
SPEAKER_08So these are the good undead guys, bro.
SPEAKER_00The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.
SPEAKER_03Welcome to a podcast called Least Important Things, A Show About Movies, Friendship, and Finding Meaning in the Most Important of the Least Important Things. I'm your host, Luke Ferris. In today's episode, we're completing the trilogy and uncovering the oft-forgotten sequel to the mummy in our special rewatch series. We're calling the mummy cast. Yes. If you're here, it's for the mummy, the tomb of the dragon emperor. Wow. This is going to be a fun episode. Joining me uh for the mummy cast is our geopolitical history expert, Mike Wynn. Welcome, welcome to the program. We're really glad to have you here on a very important episode.
SPEAKER_04I was told that I was told that this was NPR.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_03You're ready, you're ready for your post-war Chin Chinese history. That is sure to be accurate from this movie. And also, someone we actually didn't recast. You know, there's a lot of discussions back and forth, um, but we decided not to recast him. It's Zach Hall. Thank you for coming back.
SPEAKER_06Oh, yes, as always, thank you guys for having me back and not like choosing anybody else to be in the spot. Although, looking back, it would have been okay.
SPEAKER_03It might have been okay if your the contract negotiations didn't work out and we had to have a replacement. Yeah. Gentlemen, I think I we can confirm this live. I didn't really set you guys up. Do have we all seen Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey? Mike hasn't seen it yet. I see it on Friday. You see it on Friday. Zach saw this weekend. Yes. I saw it. So anyway, by basically the end of this week recording this episode, we have all seen it. So we won't talk about the the show. But I do think the contrast of the Odyssey in this movie being watched around the same time is quite special. And you can only get that here on Least Important Things. Everyone's talking about the Odyssey, Odyssey spoilers, the state of cinema, Christopher Nolan and his legacy. But no, here at least important things. We're talking about the mummy, Colonel Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. What are some connections? Uh, without giving spoilers from Mike, Zach, what are some connections between this film and Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey? I mean, Mike, have you read the book?
SPEAKER_04Uh yeah, I have read the book.
SPEAKER_06Okay. Um connections.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it feels like we could make some contrast here.
SPEAKER_06Contrast is an important, important thing. I thought you wanted to make some comparisons. Some of the um subject matter within this movie was changed from the book to the um movie. And I think that is an important thing to remember. Just like a lot of characters were changed between the second movie and the third movie for this. Um, this is uh the Odyssey was made from a legendary, amazing work of art um based on one of the greatest epics of all time. Um, this was an attempt at being an epic that just ended up being yeah, a movie instead that no one saw. Trust me, I was working in 2008 when this came out, uh, and no one went to see this. No one went to see this at all.
SPEAKER_03Thank you.
SPEAKER_06Everybody went to see the Odyssey.
SPEAKER_03Yes. I want to, yeah, everyone saw the Odyssey. Before we get into that, and I have lots of questions to follow up on the summer of 2008 in the state of Zach Hall. Uh, before we get started, for those joining us for the first time, wow, what an episode to pick. For those who have welcomed back who have been on this mummy journey, and there's a lot of new, I think potentially new listeners. Uh, so thank you for so many. There was a lot of people who downloaded the mummy returns. Uh, so thank you for uh joining this mummy train.
SPEAKER_04Um, and if you this is uh Luke, I just I feel like I need to say this. If this is your first episode listening to us, please go and listen to a different episode. Please do not judge us on this episode.
SPEAKER_03This is where the least important things culture really thrives. This is when we really are at our best, when our backs are against our against the wall. We're we're talking about a film that doesn't need to be talked about, that no one wants us to talk about, yet we dive in full force and have our own Odyssey where we come forth as different people. Zach's skeptical.
SPEAKER_06I'm definitely a different person. I have not gone home to my love. Instead, I have gone home, I went to my bed and slept. Well, thank you.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, listeners, viewers, uh, for joining us. Please subscribe wherever you get your podcast. You can also watch on Apple Podcasts if you want to see our beautiful faces, also on YouTube. And you can join us on Patreon as a free or paid member for exclusive content. And for that same cost as maybe you're getting a terracotta figurine, you can become a friend of the show. Uh, you can get some stickers, special surprises, and really learn more about what we're doing behind the scenes. And really, the support that you show, both free or paid on Patreon, helps us make more episodes like this one. So please visit patreon.com/slash least important things. And most importantly, this is an independent podcast. And the best way you can help this show is by recommending it to somebody, even though Mike said to not listen to this episode. Uh, listen to other episodes and share with your friends. So if you're maybe defending Shangri-La for eternity and are getting into podcasts, please recommend least important things. Uh Mike, when's the last time you've been to Shangri-La? What what did you in your travels were you able to make it to Shangri-La?
SPEAKER_04Well, I uh I think it closed in my town before I could actually use it. Um that's too bad, you know. I heard that their buffet was all right. Okay.
SPEAKER_03All right, gentlemen, before we dive into the conversation, of course, today we have to talk about a sponsor. And uh, this might be my favorite, one of my favorite sponsors we've ever had on the show. Again, if you're new to the show, we have sponsors for every rewatch episode. And I do not have a sponsor on here that I don't fully support uh in their business model, in their owner specifically, and what they're trying to do as a business. And today's episode, we got a great sponsor. It's brought to you by Immoteps, Shanghai's hottest new club with nightly entertainment from Immoteps Golden Gals and craft cocktails like the smooth special and scarab surprise that's sure to resurrect your youthful energy. Club owner Jonathan is sure to regale you with one of his many adventurous stories. Immoteps, the best place in Shanghai for a night off in a stiff drink. Thank you to Immoteps for joining us. Uh, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. Uh, what what would uh you order at Immoteps? What do you think is besides the drink specials? What what else do you think you're gonna order there? What food do they do? Maybe it's like a scarab um salad or something like that?
SPEAKER_06Mmm, scarab salad. Probably less dangerous than um some of the salad products that have been going around lately.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Um maybe like a um they do like a mummified roast chicken, you know, with the skin on.
SPEAKER_04Oh, would that be like um like like beef wellington? Where you like could bake you bake the beef inside of something, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and it really like resurrects. You can resurrect it.
SPEAKER_04That's good. It does come back from the dead.
SPEAKER_06You could do like a flight of different um organs, um, each one in its own special jar.
SPEAKER_04In a jar. In a jar.
SPEAKER_03What an experience, what a dining experience. I think we're gonna come back to this in uh one of our special segments for the mummy cast. Um, so I'll put a pin in that. Uh, but beforehand, we have we're on to our next segment called Back of the DVD for this episode. Back of the DVD. This is where Mike reads the back of the DVD description, just like if you were walking around, let's say in 2008 uh or early 2009, you're uh shopping at Walmart and you're you're walking around Walmart and they have those big bins, you know, those big cardboard bins, and they're stacked high with DVDs, and they're all five dollars. And you might be like, hmm, you see you sort through a couple, and then you see a red DVD, and you go, huh, what's this? This looks like Brendan Fraser. Oh, it's a mummy movie. I didn't know they they had more mummy mummy movies, and you flip it on the back, and this is what you would read, Mike. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_04Um, I just want I guess I just want to add in um this would be on the back of my laser desk. Oh, yes, okay. Okay, okay. Got it. All right. Brendan Fraser and Jet Lee star in the action-packed adventure The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. When a 2,000-year-old curse is broken, a ruthless Dragon Emperor, played by Jet Lee, comes back to life with a diabolical plan to enslave the world. Mankind's only hope against him and his legions of undead warriors lies with the courageous O'Connell family who's uh who chase him from the dangerous catacombs of China to the icy Himalayas and beyond. I think that is all one sentence since I started reading it. Featuring intense battle sequences, breathtaking visual effects, and extraordinary creatures, it's a thrilling journey that Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times calls the best in the series. So, Luke, I actually uh I actually saw that he had said this, and you know, you know, sometimes you get or um sometimes you get anecdotes or uh clip little clips from reviews, and you're like clearly out of yeah, that's clearly out of context. And I went and I actually looked up his review of this movie, and um I I'm gonna be honest, Mike, I did as well, and I thought maybe I ghostwrited this for him.
SPEAKER_03This sounds exactly like me.
SPEAKER_04It sounds like Roger Ebert watched this movie with dear friends of his at a movie theater and then immediately wrote his about his experience.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. Uh, do you have any quotes that stand out to you from that?
SPEAKER_04I I think um he he takes time to uh criticize the mummy returns in his review, which I think is funny. Like he's like, I'm I'm still not done criticizing that movie, but um he said uh he's I cannot argue for the script, the direction, or even uh the script, the direction, the acting, or even the money mummy, but I can say that I was not bored and sometimes I was unreasonably pleased. He's actually quoting, he's actually quoting his review of the mummy, but he quotes it in saying that that's exactly how he felt about this movie as well.
SPEAKER_03Which is fascinating. And his big quote that they used in this pull-up for the back of the DVD is now why did I like this movie? It was just plain dumb fun, is why it is absurd and preposterous, and proud of it. Just incredible, incredible praise from Roger Eberb. I I I mean, this was, I do have to say, this was at the end of his life. Uh, he he was he only had a couple years left, so um I don't I don't I'm not a huge like follower of his, uh, but still did not see that coming as far as the back of the DVD.
SPEAKER_04All right, you like the title of his uh review, which is Tomb It May Concern. Yeah, that's funny.
SPEAKER_03Still got it, still got it. If you were reading the back of the DVD, you would also learn that this film is directed by Rob Cohen, who did Dragonheart, Fast and the Furious, Triple X, and Stealth, all great uh Saturday afternoon TNT classics. Uh something happened in between there. Uh, it was also written by a couple different writers, which we'll talk about later. If you see multiple writers on the back of a DVD or VHS, chances are it was a little bit in uh purgatory as far as uh the production goes and the pre-production, and I think this is a case of that, which we'll learn later. Uh, as Mike mentioned, this film is starring Brendan Fraser as Rick O'Connell, Jet Lee as Emperor Han slash the Dragon Emperor, Maria Bello as Evelyn O'Connell replacing Rachel Wise, John Hanna returns as Jonathan, Luke Ford as Alex O'Connell, Michelle Yo as Ywan, Isabel Leon as Lin, Anthony Wong as General Yang, and Liam Cunningham as Mad Dog McGuire, who plays Davos in Game of Thrones. Uh, which if you watch Game of Thrones, you were like, who that guy seems familiar? It's because of that.
SPEAKER_06I'm re-watching it right now, and it's just blew my mind. Absolutely blew my mind. Isn't that crazy? Two very different people.
SPEAKER_03So very different characters, very different characters. All right, let's move on to facts that you can fact check. I'm not gonna do the work for you. We're gonna spend a lot of time in this section of the episode because I think there's a lot of behind the scenes to discuss. So I'm gonna run through some of these guys, but feel free to dive in with your own research or your thoughts because I do think this is one of those movies that's more interesting to do the research around than maybe even watch it. So the the the The Mummy Colonel, Tomb of the Emperor, Dragon Emperor, was released on August 1st, 2008. That weekend, you could have seen The Dark Knight with C which came out earlier, Step Brothers, Mamma Mia, Wally, uh Zach. You mentioned working at the movie theater this summer. What was the pulse of the movie going culture?
SPEAKER_06What you're seeing at the movie theaters this year is a big change, and what we as audience members want to go see. And what this movie that we are going to review today represents is an old school way of um creating a movie, and what you are seeing throughout this entire summer, otherwise, it's being overshadowed by amazing things that will create history for the next 20 years, you know, be absolutely lauded, and this one will be forgotten.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I remember that summer, obviously, for the movie going, it was an important summer for me. But as a fan of this franchise, I remember seeing the trailers and seeing the August release date. I'm not gonna say this is always indicative, but for a big blockbuster franchise, if a movie's getting released in August, that's that's a s that's a sign that they don't think it can compete with the big blockbuster movies. Uh I was joking about the Odyssey connection, but in some ways Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight that summer paired against this movie, and obviously he has gone on to do m even bigger and more bold things. Um, and this film maybe ruined the franchise. Uh, definitely stalled it for a long time and s until we've which we talked about in the first episode of how it's been kind of re celebrated over the decades and brought more attention to it. But it was really sad because I I thought about going and I didn't go to it. Like I I would have gone to it, but the reviews were so bad that was right when Rotten Tomatoes was starting to be a thing and online aggregators, and there was just no buzz for this movie.
SPEAKER_06No, it just kind of came and went. I remember just it being in theaters like three weeks and not getting well attended, and after that, just kind of dust in the wind, terracotta dust in the wind.
SPEAKER_04When you typically write hey, at at that time, you could have seen these other movies in theater. Those aren't movies that opened that weekend, right?
SPEAKER_03No, but they were in the theaters.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you could you could show up, but they all all didn't open up, but Dark Knight of the movies that were released uh that week, though, this movie dominates amongst the movies that were released.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's like the toilet bowl, right? It's like the in the NIT. This is this is really like an empty window. It did make money. I mean, at a huge budget, 145 million. Um, domestically didn't perform very well, 102 million, and then 406 worldwide. Um, so most of the box office overseas. Um, we'll talk about this a little bit later. It is the beginning kind of of it's right before the Chinese Hollywood partnership kicks off. Uh, that really starts to happen post-Avatar. And so this is actually, I think the legacy of this movie is kind of an early indicator where you have they're bringing over Chinese stars, they're filming in China, and before that partnership really grows, where Chinese companies are investing into movie productions, uh, with a caveat that they shoot in China or they have Chinese stars, and that partnership really blossoms for probably the deck the decade after that for a lot of big budget action movies.
SPEAKER_06This almost jeopardizes it though, at the same time.
SPEAKER_03I mean, this could be like a yeah, Hollywood could have probably just been like, yeah, this isn't working out, bringing over these, you know, Chinese stars and having and filming in China, but they're like Jetly, it's not the best use of Jetly in anything.
SPEAKER_06And uh we can talk why in the later in the trivia, but like that is like a huge star to put into something, and they really they just fumble that like really well, really badly. So yeah. Um I'm surprised at the the overseas numbers there, honestly. I uh I feel like that would be insulted, but okay.
SPEAKER_03Okay, all right. Speaking of stars, the big black eye on this movie that kind of everyone knew, and that I think that was probably why people didn't, and and this is Luke's subjective opinion. Uh, even a young Luke, Luke Ferris, was like, I'm not gonna go see this movie because Rachel Vise is not in it. Uh, she did not um take this role. There is a lot of controversy over what why she didn't want to do this role. Some of it was people say it was a script issues, which probably a wise choice. Uh, other people said it was scheduling, and I think she had just started her family uh with Daniel Craig, like she was just having kids or in that process. Um, so whether it's a combination of those things or not, uh, I think this is one of the biggest problems with this movie, just from the from the get-go, uh, not having her. Also, um, Brendan Frazier is only 13 years older than Luke Ford, uh, who played his college age age son. Yeah. Now, the at the guy who plays Alex, uh, and I didn't I didn't say his name, he was an up-and-coming actor, um, Australian actor, American actor. So it wasn't like he's we kind of look at him as like he this isn't like a young Tom Holland coming up or or a new a new star. Kind of a forgettable person, so it it makes his legacy even in in this movie a little bit odd.
SPEAKER_06What do you think his British accent was? Like, what do you think it would have been? Like, because clearly he couldn't do one, he could only do an American.
SPEAKER_03But then he is his his Aussie accent would slip in, like yeah, or he would try to do it British. There was a lot of accent work.
SPEAKER_06Um it was all I thought he was coming off as American, though, right? Like that's the interpretation is he has an American accent in this, right?
SPEAKER_03But then I think that's the idea, but then he slips up a couple times, which you could attribute to being like, Oh, I was raised, I was raised in the UK, I have an American dad, so but I think that um was not necessarily a choice in the script.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, not young Alex, like young Alex was very different.
SPEAKER_03Young Alex, very different. Um, the early proof pre pre-production treatments utilized Arnold Volslo in the role of Immotep. Um, and he talks about how he declined the offer offer uh to play and resurrect that role, um, return, return, return, because Stephen Summers didn't come back to direct. Same thing with Odette Fair, who to reprise his role as Ardith, same kind of story where he didn't like how Imatep was removed, and we'll get into some more other theories, um, and didn't really feel like the script was strong. And I think also Steven Summers not returning made him less inclined to rejoin. Uh in the closing scene, a screen text reveals that the mummies were soon thereafter, spoiler alert, discovered in Peru, possible a stinger for a sequel. Uh Peru. Home to the Incan civilization, which also mummified their important uh members. So there was potentially a mummy for Rise of the Aztecs in the works. Obviously, that did not happen. But the rumor, and I'm not sure if this is true, that Antonio Banderas would have played the main antagonist. But obviously, we got the 2017 reboot. I don't know if that's true, but it makes me wonder. Um, if Jonathan, if they could have gotten Jonathan, Richard Wise to come back, Antonio Banderas as the as the foil slash mummy, I'd be game.
SPEAKER_06Is it like apocalypto merge yes?
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Is that how they mix this in?
SPEAKER_03But again, this is one of the mini legendary lores of what could have been coming out of this movie. Jet Lee, as Zach mentioned, was only on set for about two to three weeks due to his tight filming schedule, and most of his stunts and character was done in CGI or in models, which is very, very frustrating. I want to talk here. Yeah, I want to talk about Jet Lee a little bit. So he kind of broke through in the late 90s coming from Hong Kong cinema because of obviously Jackie Chan's popularity. Uh, in Hollywood was looking for more of that talent. So he has Lethal Weapon 4 in 1998, his first appearance, which is underrated, underrated movie. Um, fun action movie. Uh, it's not gonna win any awards, but fun to watch. Then Romeo Must Die in 2000, Kiss of the Dragon in 2001, The One, also in 2001, and then you have Hero and Fearless, which were both Chinese productions, um, but were really popular. I love Hero. Uh, it's a really fun watch. Cradle to the Grave with DMX in 2003, Unleashed in 2005, and then War with Jason Statham, um, all leading up to this movie. So he was hot commodity, really big action star. Uh, and it is so disappointing that he's not in this movie or really doing anything.
SPEAKER_04No, look, he's being a terracotta. What do you expect? It's tough.
SPEAKER_03It's tough.
SPEAKER_06It's an outer shell. He's burned on the inside. It's an outer shell that he it's a spit became terracotta. That was his curse, and then it just continues to be an outer crab shell of him that he can rip off and throw at people.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Mike.
SPEAKER_04Uh yeah, you know a lot more about this movie than I do. Clearly. I fell asleep three times.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, we have a spoiler alert for the nap check in.
SPEAKER_06Um, so it might have just been a fever dream.
SPEAKER_03Guys, I do have to remind you, this movie has two Oscar-winning actors who won the Oscar in the same year, Michelle Yo, and Brendan Fraser in 2022 for The Whale Every Everything Everywhere All At Once. Uh, and they were in this movie together. Wow. Just I don't have any other comments. I just it just let that simmer a little bit. Um, Michelle Yeo and Jet Lee were also in two films together. They were in Hero and uh Tai Chi Master. The film was shot in Montreal, Canada, as well as in China, as I mentioned. Um, and I as I talked about, it's right before that boom. And then don't know if this is true. Director, director Rob Cohen claims that he brought actual Chinese historians to consult on the terracotta army designs and mythology. Uh, but obviously, it takes a lot of creative liberties with the uh shape-shifting dragons and the Yetis. Uh, Mike, you said you also had some facts that you could fact check.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so uh upon watching this movie very like very early in the movie, they show a map of China, um, kind of like uh like a cartoon map of China to kind of set up this uh preamble. Yes. And anytime I see in a movie um a map of China and know that the movie was released in China, I start to ask questions because China is very sensitive when it comes to maps of their country.
SPEAKER_03That's true.
SPEAKER_04Um, and I notice that the map is like doesn't include all of China. So the map seems to be um directionally authentic to the time period that they were kind of like referencing, yeah, fictionalizing this in, but it got me thinking like, how did a movie like this get released in China? Um, and like how is it so successful in China when it was like so unsuccessful domestically? And what I found out was that the script is co-authored and was approved by China. So this is a co-production um and considered a domestic release in China, which gave it um which g which gave it like longer run in China. And additionally, um the like there was this big media hubbub in China about um because of the script and the depoliticization that they needed the movie to go through, that the movie was actually banned and it wasn't gonna be released until the final minute the Chinese government uh lifted the band, which or lifted the ban, which oh wow, what a great marketing tactic. Why don't you come and see this movie that was banned until the final until the final second? Um, and so like yeah, that uh I guess I I didn't realize this, but China's um in China either at that time or even now today, they have very limited um international releases that they permit in country, and because this was co-produced, um, and the script was approved, um, it's and shot in China, it's considered a Chinese domestic uh release, and so it was able to kind of like slide by a lot of the I guess issue, like logistical issues that normal American movies have to fight through.
SPEAKER_03That's a great context, and again, tease up this whole era of co-productions with Chinese studios and the actual government. Obviously, that started to change probably right before COVID. They've started to pull back and we're back kind of to this pre-2008 type of uh like rollout of movies. But that's some great fact checks, Mike. Thank you so much. Uh, I have a few more here, some alternate script ideas. So, at one point, this movie is set in 1946 post-war. Uh, in early script, they actually have Rick and Evy as active British spies tracking Japanese operations in India and China during World War II, and that actually the film is happening during World War II with their espionage. Guys, you know me really well, listeners and and viewers. Where is my Rick and Evie World War II spy espionage show? That I need that. I need that.
SPEAKER_06It's coming to Disney Plus next next year.
SPEAKER_03Peacock, probably. I think that's Peacock, actually. Oh, yeah, yeah. I want a novelization of that. Oh, yeah. It might be written by Luke Ferris. We'll see.
SPEAKER_06Just some fan fiction. Can you also, Luke, when you write this, can you um put in some type of plot that explains why we changed from Rachel face to Maria Bell face?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it'll be a full uh face transfer. Um that was part of the espionage.
SPEAKER_06Would you would we call it a face transfer?
SPEAKER_02I would call it a face off. Face off. Face off.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06Face off.
SPEAKER_02World War II. Yes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. When they started previewing that in the movie, like there's like this, you know, unsaid three two and a half point like movie. I it'd be probably better than returns as well. Like, um, I that's I thought the exact same thing. Like, why do we not have that? And it sounds like we could have.
SPEAKER_03I don't know why. If I I think partially the studios maybe thought it was gonna be too serious to embed it because obviously, if you do a little bit of history, you don't have to just watch Ken Burns uh the war. Uh, a lot of horrible things happened in India, China, and in Japan, um, and what happened there. Is it just a lot of horrible things happened? So, my only guess is that it was too dark of a entry point for the story, but man, it makes me frustrated. Um, obviously, we mentioned that there was going to be a lot more tied to the first two films. Uh, there was actually talks about having uh Z1 use uh version of the Book of the Dead uh to resurrect the Emperor. Essentially, they would take the use the Book of the Dead the Dead as like the cheat code to resurrect the Emperor, um, which would tie the original movie, also to tie into having Immotep come back. Um, the other idea that I think would have been really cool is having Imotep as an ally. So it would be he would be brought back by the O'Connells to fight the Emperor, which I think would be pretty cool to see.
SPEAKER_06And I really thought, like on the Book of the Dead side of these things, um I really thought because a jewel is stolen at the end of returns from the top of the pyramid by Jonathan. And I really thought this was in the chest, right?
SPEAKER_03In the or is the the chest?
SPEAKER_06I think it's in the chest. It's the jewel on the top.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, it's on the top of the pyramid, yes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like in his back pocket as I fly away. Um, I really thought this was it, but they didn't make that jump this time again. Like they clearly did it between one and two. Um even just that would I think could kind of solidify a little things, but they really kept Jonathan out, like his hijinks separate in this one again.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, he was just there for Comic Ruth. I I assume they implied it, but they didn't say it explicitly, which again, the disconnect between the lore of the franchise. If you're gonna do a third movie, at least connect it. Yeah. Uh more like obviously, I Jonathan used that thing he stole in returns to fund the bar.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Essentially. That's that's how it did. Yeah, that's what I put together too. Is that said explicitly? I didn't catch that.
SPEAKER_03Not really explicitly. Uh Rick kind of briefly mentions that like tomb raiding allowed him to build that place, um, but it's not explicit. Uh, originally in the script there's gonna be a lot more body horror, but they ended up going more CGI, um, so less scary. Obviously, I I think this one is completely less scary than the previous films. Um uh the Alex character. Uh, there was gonna be more connection that he was like a failed World War II enlisted. Um, there was gonna be more Bembridge stuff, and then they were gonna have him saving Rick instead of Rick saving him with with the knife. And then they uh I this is amazing. I don't know who this is. The group is joined by Tequila, a Tibetan monk uh that they met at a ransacked monastery. That was another character in there.
SPEAKER_06Um tequila, sure.
SPEAKER_03Uh maybe that was a good one they left at the cutting cutting room for probably because the name was bad. They were also gonna not have the shape shifting be a part of it, and he was gonna be more of like using his five elements. Uh yeah. Because it's shown in the movie, they use the five five elements, but they I think they just threw in the shape shifting as like, oh, he can do that as well. Uh but the shit the five element controlling was gonna be more like avatar last airbender type of type of action.
SPEAKER_06Fully. So here's my here's my disagreement with the five elements. You have fire, water, earth, wood, and metal. But where's wind? And where's heart?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_04I think the reason why the mummy emperor dude thing lost was he didn't have clear eyes or a full heart.
SPEAKER_03Therefore, he can lose. Because he lost. He needed those elements. Uh, the last piece of potential this might have been some IMD fan IMDB fanfic, is that I I don't know, Rick was going to send the Emperor back into the N underworld. So it was gonna connect to the previous movies, and the line was gonna be give Imotep my regards. Uh that would have been pretty cool. Uh, but that's really out of the many, many theories of what could have happened, uh, we didn't get any of those. Uh, and that leads me on to OT's overall thoughts. We've we've talked about this. Was this everyone's first time viewing this movie? Yeah. Mike was for me. Zach, had you viewed this film before? This is my first time, yeah. And my last.
SPEAKER_02All right. Moving on to uh a new segment for the mummy cast. Last time on the O'Connells, it's 1946.
SPEAKER_03Uh the O'Connells are still rich, but Rick is trouble having uh trouble having trouble fitting the time in between post-war. There is no sexual heat between the O'Connells as much as they imply it, just did not feel it, did not feel the energy. And then during the war, we did learn, as we mentioned, that they were espionage and spies, but we don't get any flashbacks or anything. We just get a like old British white guy telling them that they were in the espionage service. Uh uh so many, uh so many things that they could do. Uh, I'm gonna be writing the fan fiction as soon as this call is over. And then, of course, Jonathan opened up a nightclub that he funded with his theft in the mummy returns. And then Alex got really old uh in his college dropout and starts tomb raiding. So that is last time on the O'Connell's. Uh, what is the state of the O'Connell family, Zach? What do you what do you think the vibes are? Um, obviously, uh Mrs. O'Connell has a different face, which is a bit confusing, but uh what is what's the state of the family in this movie?
SPEAKER_06I mean, when you're 38 and you retire, um, it's it's a tough life. It's a really tough life. Um, and you're 38 and you have an 18-year-old boy, like it's really hard. So I think you can definitely see that uh, you know, I can relate to this. Rick, Rick's tired. Rick's really tired. And I think I think all of us were really tired after that last, you know, that last one took a lot out of us. Um, you know, so I think I think I can relate to this, this this version of them.
SPEAKER_03I I I as much like Rick took fly fishing as a hobby, uh maybe you could get into fly fishing as well. Maybe uh maybe that's maybe that we're all destined for fly fishing on a beautiful river on a British estate.
SPEAKER_06That I that was the most relatable part of this movie, actually. I have gotten many uh uh uh a hook in my neck and just can't get it out until my butler takes it out for me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yes, the butler especially. Uh honestly, I was I think that was my favorite shot of the entire movie was Rick fly fishing on the river, or I should what let's just say Brendan Fraser shotting shooting on location in Montreal. I just was like, Yeah, can we just get an alternate movie here? Just uh like just Rick walking around his his his land and exploring. Uh I was it was very peaceful until the movie really started. Uh Mike, what's your what's your state of the O'Connell family? What what's the dynamic going on here?
SPEAKER_05I think that um that Alex doesn't recognize that his mom's a totally different person.
SPEAKER_04Totally derailed my thought there. The um oh, you mentioned that there's no chemistry, like there's no sexual chemistry between them. And I think what I kind of picked up on was that it was the adventure, the tomb raiding, the espionage that like excited them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And like, because there's that scene where they're being recruited to take the um the object to uh to China and the MacGuffin to get to the other boat. And you can like see them kind of get aroused by the whole idea. And um, and I was just like, oh wow, like they are they're horny for adventure.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. That really quick shot of Brennan Fraser's lap. Yes, totally very t.
SPEAKER_04Um, but I I also loved the scene of him fly fishing. It kind of it felt to me like the um the family friendly version of Robin Williams explaining golf.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_03It's a great YouTube clip. Go look it up. It'll uh well not well, that's maybe not safe for work, but it's so good. I I I don't want to we don't like to bash on this show, we like to celebrate. Um, and I don't mean to do that to Maria Bello. She's a she's a fine actress, she's been in a lot of really cool projects, but uh man, that's a thankless job. I mean, it's interesting that uh a colleague of hers also did the same thing in this in a movie that summer with Maggie Gyllenhaal playing Rachel in The Dark Knight. Uh whoa, what a competitive! But it's a a totally different outcome as far as obviously the movie, but I think a lot of people like Maggie Gyllenhaal's interpretation of Rachel. Um, but interesting that that summer we got a recasting of the female leads.
SPEAKER_04A whole new meeting to where's Rachel? Am I right? Yeah, oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Where is she? Where's Rachel?
SPEAKER_06Why's I'll shoot this fireball at you if you don't.
SPEAKER_02Yes. All right, let's move on to our news segment. Mike and Zach's nap check-in. Uh uh, Mike and Zach, how are your naps?
SPEAKER_06I'll go with Mike first.
SPEAKER_04I missed the final 10 to 15 minutes of this movie. I actually have no idea how it ended. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02You got that far?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. I'm not aware of anything. Like I I don't know what happened. Can someone please tell me what happened? Did the actual ending? Yes.
SPEAKER_01Um Zach, you want to take this one?
SPEAKER_06So there was a war between resurrected, so it's the clay soldiers get resurrected.
SPEAKER_03Did you get that far? The terracotta so um the the emperor is able to resurrect his terracotta clay figure army, and then Michelle Yeo is able to resurrect all the fallen soldiers that then yeah, I kind of remember the militants fighting that yeah, thus representing communism and federalism fighting each other in that time of uh Chinese history.
SPEAKER_05Yes, exactly. If anybody didn't get that, that'll be.
SPEAKER_06Immortality, and then when she does fight, the emperor dies, but is able to steal the dagger.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I remember this part though, because didn't she ask for her daughter to give up her immortality earlier? And her daughter, I thought it was her daughter, kind of believed it was in reference to the reason why she couldn't be with Alex was because she's immortal. And then, like, the like two minutes later, her mom is like, You need to give up your immortality, and she's like, Oh, yeah, that's awesome. Now I can be with Alex.
SPEAKER_05Great, great, yeah. Let's yeah, let's close that plot line really quickly.
SPEAKER_06Just easily tie that up in a bow. Um then there was a fight. Uh, Emperor could turn changed into a dragon. Well, that happened. We we saw that part. Three heads, though. Why three heads?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, three heads, and then they're in a structure. Um, I don't know why the emperor goes in the structure.
SPEAKER_04So, how does he get defeated?
SPEAKER_03Uh, Rick and Alex kill him with the knife that was stolen, the only knife you could kill him, um, through the power of math. Power of math.
SPEAKER_06Specifically, yeah, division.
SPEAKER_03The sign of division.
SPEAKER_06Divide and conquer is the line that's used there. And that's just her strategy.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's her strategy.
SPEAKER_06And then Rick sees um here's here's how can we tell Mike how it happens, how the division thing happens. So the knife falls into the sand and it creates the knife has enough of uh imprint to look as it is it like bounces once, and whatever the imprint when the sand was was a divide vision sign. Brendan Fraser, Rick O'Connell looks at that and is inspired and says divide and conquer. And then the series happens where Rick engages the emperor first, right? Luke.
SPEAKER_03Yep, yeah, because it uh the knife got broken because it hit it hit a hit a pole, apparently.
SPEAKER_06Oh, you know, right.
SPEAKER_03So Alex takes one part of the knife, Rick takes the other, and he stabs him, and then Alex comes from behind. So they divide and then they conquer.
SPEAKER_06Yes, and this was all in the structure that is uh that's the elemental structure at the beginning of the movie: the fire, water, earth, wood, metal structure. Heart where he has yeah, and lacking heart structure.
SPEAKER_04I feel like I actually know less about the movie right now. Yeah, they kill the bad guy, got it.
SPEAKER_03Yep, and then Jonathan gets a uh gets the actual diamond from the that's the original McGuffin, most importantly, and then goes to Peru. So that's that that's it.
SPEAKER_06All right, let's they all go back to Jonathan's bar and they dance and love again.
SPEAKER_03Everybody's in love again. Everybody's in love again. Yeah. Um, let's move on to Mike's theme park corner. Uh, Mike, what tomb of the dragon emperor ride would you design? But I'm gonna give you an option. Would you would you make an emoteps bar at Universal or Universal Studios? Maybe throw an Immoteps bar and recreate the one from this film. I'm gonna give you that as an option. Or would you do a theme park ride, maybe a Yeti ride? Instead of designing a ride, I could I could have like an attraction, like emoteps as a yep, yep, with the Golden Girls and uh maybe some character actors playing Jonathan and Rick.
SPEAKER_04I actually like that way better.
SPEAKER_03And do and do like a stunt, like a stunt scene, right? Yeah, maybe that you do a stunt scene from the movie. Uh what about a Yeti ride? Could we could we somehow get a Yeti?
SPEAKER_04Disney's got that already. They have a ride with a Yeti.
SPEAKER_03Oh, they do? Okay.
SPEAKER_04So there's literally a roller coaster that rides up a uh like a like a um a Nepalese it you climb up Everest, okay.
SPEAKER_03Oh okay.
SPEAKER_04And then uh and then there's a Yeti. Great. So Yeti's taken.
SPEAKER_06Yeti's IP already for when you climb up Everest, is the goal to put it the jewel that you are given at the beginning of the ride on top of something so it can just tell you where else to go, so you can just move the plot, but not really, because you don't want to watch the rest of the movie.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's exactly what it is. That's exactly what Disney did.
SPEAKER_04I I think this might be our best one, uh, the Immoteps bar with a stunt action show in in in part of it at like you know, at certain times of the day, like three, six, like also, like if I had if I had to make a ride out of it, I would make it one of those um dark rides that's on these uh these newfangled, like um um all motion carts. Um, you guys have probably seen these. They're like uh they're like bumper bumper cars. They kind of look like big bumper cars, sure, but they um they're trackless, they're trackless um cars is what they are, and so um basically they can shuttle you in and out of rooms and go backwards and forwards and side to side and all they can go in all directions, but you're just you just have one car. Um, a lot of rides have these, but I think you could come up with something um like like that. Uh that probably works better actually for the last movie, like the scorpion with the scorpion king. Um, but yeah, I I said let's let's go, let's go with the bar. MmTEPs bar, I think, is a really good one.
SPEAKER_03All right, let's move on to Leesties and Besties. Uh, might be a little bit light. Like I said, this was gonna be heavy on the pre-production and behind the scenes, but we'll dive into our leasties and besties we've done throughout this series. Job you least likely want uh the great wall slave who gets taught that they get tossed into a ditch. Um, that was rough. That's the thing. It's like if you're gonna show that in the prologue, why can't we have the World War II espionage? I don't know. Uh, once again, we do get a couple expendable dig crew kills, um, which I'll talk about later. Uh Terracotta Soldier, uh, I think I I I put this really mainly as no moisture. Uh really not a lot of moisture in this movie. Um, that's gonna be tough. Or an undead fallen soldier, job you'd least likely want.
SPEAKER_06I mean the terracotta soldiers, they're just outside hanging out when this whole curse went down. Um that do they even know what's up? Like, and then like they're just frozen for yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I don't even know.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, they just they just have to like I you know what, Mike, uh Mike and Luke, like what about the horses?
SPEAKER_03Ooh, yeah, terracotta horses, terracotta horses, yeah.
SPEAKER_06And some of them have like weird joints with fire in there, like it's great wall slave.
SPEAKER_04I mean, come on, what are we doing here?
SPEAKER_03Zach and I really tried to break down the sentientness of these terracotta soldiers. Uh yeah, are they real people? Are they? We don't know.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, at least the other ones are inspired by by communism and want to fight for their people.
SPEAKER_03Yes. The least 1946 part of this movie, uh another one that's confusing. We talked about how like the Nazis aren't involved in the first two movies. I think just not that the world is in chaos and really struggling economically. Uh it's this is a very like flashy scenes and worlds, and I'm not saying I know exactly what Shanghai looked like um post-World War II, but I I just from my limited knowledge, uh, the world is not great uh besides post-war America. Um, so that's one that stands out. I don't think post-war China was financing ancient digs, that's just me. Um another historical inaccuracy. And then they'll I think this wins the least 1946 part of this movie is Alex's accent, uh, just whatever it is.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, whatever that is. That is a mess of a of a adult man. Like he clearly does not understand it, he does not have an identity. He's trying this entire movie.
SPEAKER_04I kind of felt like the least 1946 part of this movie was the uh Shanghai-based uh roaring twenties themed bar.
SPEAKER_03Yes, just just the the the financing to do that.
SPEAKER_04Well, just like the appetite for like well, China doesn't care, they were isolationist.
SPEAKER_03Probably not, but that makes I can't criticize it because it's uh it was my favorite part of the movie.
SPEAKER_06It gave us another car chase scene in order to do that.
SPEAKER_03Which I enjoyed the car, Chase. We'll talk about a little bit later. Uh the Nick Parker and Elizabeth James honorary least deep release mature parenting decision, not knowing whether your kid dropped out of college as a tomb raider and apparently is also smuggling arms, uh having the sex talk with your kid on a Chinese mountain uh after interacting with Yetis, and Rick yelling, There it is, we found it when approaching the Shangri-La temple, uh, when you know you're being chased by uh a horde of villains. Uh, what's what's the parenting decision that stands out? I know we already talked about the Okana family in our uh last time on the Okano family family update, but uh what stands out to you, Zach?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the fact that they don't know anything about their kid is kind of surprising. Yeah, it's just kind of funny.
SPEAKER_03He's halfway around the world. We didn't even know. He doesn't write. Hey, 1940s parenting. It was a different time. What can we say? Just like 1930s parenting. Yeah, I guess they've been consistent.
SPEAKER_06This is like the only thing that actually is consistent between all three movies. It's their world and everybody else, including their child, is just living in it. Like that is that's really the O'Connell's.
SPEAKER_03We love them. We love him. Uh least clear plot point. Now we talked about the end. Uh, we talked about the controlling fire, water, and metal, but not heart. So the eye of the Shangri-La controls the emperor. What's the deal with that? Is he being controlled? Because at one point I feel like the general like can almost control him when he's in his um shell state.
SPEAKER_06Maybe he's just desperate to get out of shell state.
SPEAKER_03I d I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Uh because you know why I would want to get out of shell state? Because Shell State has that fake mustache that he was wearing at the beginning in the prologue of the movie. I'd want to get out of that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, get out of that. Ugh. Yeah. That's rough. Yeah, not his best look for James.
SPEAKER_06That's the clear plot line. Why is he in scene one without facial hair?
SPEAKER_02I think they were trying to age him, but to show that time and pass. They literally just smacked a mustache on him. Like, like he's old now.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, not sure, not sure. Maybe it's just because he's the only person. I don't know if Shangri La really is anything beyond like its initial purpose, you know, like it feels like it isn't. Remind me, what happens to that jewel?
SPEAKER_03Uh Jonathan gets it.
SPEAKER_06Oh, that's that's it. Okay.
SPEAKER_03That's it. That's the jewel that that uh eventually he gets to finance his next move to Peru. Um I'm gonna give it a hot take here. I think the plot in this movie was silly, but I think less complicated compared to returns. Oh, yeah. I felt like this one for and and to give credit to Roger Ebert, it kind of didn't try to do anything. What did he do? I mean, it it it really kept to the formula, uh, in which I do love formulas. Um, I've talked about in the show before, but this one really didn't uh try to convolute too many things. I think the Shangri-La stuff and the division at the end, but from like just a structure of like there's a new mummy, he's trying to be resurrected, he gets resurrected, they have to stop him. Yeah. Throwing some magic and earth wire and fire and water and some dragons. Dragons and yetis.
SPEAKER_06But overall, I thought it was gonna be worse. It would have been a lot less complicated if we didn't put the yetis in. I'm gonna I'm finally breaking my silence on the edge.
SPEAKER_03Okay, sorry, yeti, yeti corner.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeti corner. And then three yetis show up. Is that all I have to do? All you have to do, Zach. Haven't you done that before? No, not yet.
SPEAKER_03Now I know to the you can go to the upper peninsula of Michigan and you get uh not they're not they're not the same ones of this movie, but very similar type of um Yeti uh that you can call.
SPEAKER_06And they're so fast.
SPEAKER_03We talk about uh zombie movies, um, and we fast zombies. This was fast yeti. Holy cow, they are flying.
SPEAKER_04Gosh, yeah, they were so muscular. They were like these guys were lifting ice blocks right before this.
SPEAKER_06What else do they gotta do? I think Mike's hitting it hinting at my fanfiction that I want to write.
SPEAKER_05Um, just those three three yetis. I mean just the three yetis, just what their adventures uh in in the mountains. I was discerned about where that fan fiction was gonna lead.
SPEAKER_06Oh, I mean, I'm this is just I'm I know what this podcast is. This is just be this is just the tip of it. Like, obviously, there's a lot, there's a lot already I've written on a Word document. Yes, the tip of the airport.
SPEAKER_03I I like the Yetis, I didn't know why they were in this movie. I I it just was shocking that we had the Dose X uh Machino that you were referring to, Zach.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, they needed something because it was even the ADR was bad in that scene. So like they needed a savior and it's to hit a reset button just like earlier with uh my internet connection. I had to I had to clear off all my applications. I had to wipe it clean, and that's what they had to do as well. They had to wipe the slate clean and just bring in something brand new from the house.
SPEAKER_03Bring in the yetis. Uh it's kind of it's kind of like the Kraken in Pirates Caribbean. Um dismiss, bring in the dancing yet. Yes. All right, let's move on to besties, fly through this here. Um, thank god tough on the besties. I was working hard. Um, the Peter Jackson Besties for grimiest moment of the film. Again, as I mentioned, not a super grimy movie uh compared to the first one. The steam that melts the face of the um expendable uh tomb raider uh worker at the start. Um, that was pretty good. Um, just the the burnt face under the clay, as Zach mentioned, um, some some rough skin and not a lot of moisture there. Uh the two Chinese uh soldiers, uh generals getting crushed into the gears at the end. Talk about love.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, she just commits, right?
SPEAKER_03She dives in.
SPEAKER_07Where where was that story?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, it they're reincarnations, they're three. We gotta it's they're back. We had the whole game gang from the original. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03This time she dives in after him.
SPEAKER_06Mm-hmm. Yeah. She dives in and and then now they can be reunited in Egyptian heaven.
SPEAKER_03Yes. It one of the most touching moments of the franchise, uh, that came out of nowhere. I love I do love movies like this that have these side side side characters that no one cares about. I'm not gonna say no one. Generally, there's no reason for us to care about as an audience member. And then whether it was cut scenes that were cut out, we don't know. Then they have a scene like that that gives you so much emotion of like, should I have been rooting for these guys?
SPEAKER_02They seem to be in love. I don't I'm so loyal and uh man.
SPEAKER_06I really didn't remember that. I thought she died when she got kicked really hard into like a jar. I thought she was dead, but I guess she just was in a different place. Yeah, different room. Yeah, I was just happy to see them reunited and yeah, you know, doing whatever the heck their purpose was. And yes. Uh the other one was sorry, are they like they is there a government entity in charge of them, or are they just rogue solar soldiers that that's the confusing thing?
SPEAKER_03And I talked about like why is the Chinese government trying to resurrect this old emperor? It seems like they're a faction, like they are on their own. It doesn't seem it seems like they maybe again. This this is where you could incorporate it's during World War II. Yeah, um, and there could be some stuff where it's like this is their Hail Mary, they're trying to do this, and then uh the O'Connell's getting involved with like, hey, don't do this, we're experts at mummies, and they still do it. There, there's something there that is missing that I think could have worked well.
SPEAKER_06Um so if we had let them win, we wouldn't have communism in China. Yes. This makes sense now. I've been liking this mormy. I've the more we get into besties, the more I like this movie.
SPEAKER_03Okay, it's alternate history. Uh, we also have the Emperor Lava Death, which I actually kind of liked for all the rough CGI in this movie. I thought that was uh and what what stands out to you guys as the grimiest moment in this movie?
SPEAKER_04I kind of like the uh I mean, like I don't know. I I guess it's grimiest to me is the the burnt face under the clay. Like that to me is like the like I actually kind of had to like squint. I'm like, yeah, I don't really like that.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Yeah. That was good design. Yeah. If it was done better though, like I think it would I would have really liked it. Yeah, like half the mustache is still there, you know, like it like better, just better. They did it better with Immol T. Yeah. Yeah, and they could have done this a very similar thing, you know, um in this one.
SPEAKER_03But we didn't get him enough being a mummy, yeah. I don't think I think that was a problem.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, the connection with the mummy thing is is very loose, anyways. So yeah, if they had made him look a little bit closer to that, rather than just like a charge silhouette, I think it would be a little bit more there. There's an opportunity for more grime there.
SPEAKER_03So the Pirates of the Caribbean honorary bestie for best McGuffin slash totem. We have the Oracle bones at the start, um, in the prologue. Um, I'm just gonna throw a night of romance with Michelle Yo. Um, a little bit of a totem there that sets this whole thing off. Again, uh, it's very similar. There's a little bit of a callback um that uh uh his uh subordinate general um makes a move on a magical leader, and it kind of causes this chaos ensues.
SPEAKER_06Oh, and Mike, he comes back in the army that gets raised. So there's like a moment where he looks at his daughter and I don't think he recognizes her though, but at least like they do he does do his thing. They also almost kill Rick because they confused. They see white man and want to kill him.
SPEAKER_03And then she's the Rick says her name, um, but they don't get to reunite, which is sad. Yeah, which is very sad. Uh the the Fen Shui compass, uh, which Alex uses at the start. Um, the eye of Shangri-La, as we mentioned, um, and then I think most importantly, the division sign in the sand, as we uh so accurately describe Zack and I as we fumbled through that into the movie. Honorary Bestie, Bess McGuffin totem, and honored parts Caribbean gentleman. What's your what's your favorite totem? Not as many chests this movie. Uh we didn't get as much chest.
SPEAKER_06Not chess.
SPEAKER_04Shangri-la. I mean, I I mean I understand it's part of the plot, but it just felt very totemy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was. I mean it it this one it was probably less toe to me McGuffany than the other ones, potentially. Um but the division sign for me is it's quite a jump the shark moment in this movie.
SPEAKER_06Just the that it can generate amazing one-liners like that, I think is it's powerful. The power of division.
SPEAKER_03The power of division, uh, long division. Best callback. We are we mentioned a few. Uh Rick does look at his military uh uniform from the first film in his closet. Uh, we get some audio. Uh no audio of Benny. Uh the Mummy and the Mummy Returns books that Evelyn writes, which I liked. I like those covers. Um, that'd be a fun movie prop to have. Yeah. Uh the the Brembridge journal uh would allowed Alex to discover the Emperor's Tomb in the first place. Uh so I don't know how he got it, but he got it. Um, and I don't know how his parents didn't know that he got it, but he got it. The Double Pistols, which we brought back uh pretty quickly, quickly on Rick. And then another uh action star CGI face uh in Jetly's CGI face uh in honor of the Scorpion King, where you have someone in a movie and their CGI face gets more FaceTime than them in real life. What's we also mentioned a couple other callbacks, but do you guys have a favorite callback to the original series? I think we would have liked more callbacks in the plot, um, but there were some they're fun some fun, silly stuff.
SPEAKER_04I mean, this is an unironic um favorite callback. I really liked the mummy and the mummy returns books that Evelyn writes. I also really we haven't brought it up yet, but um, and I I think it's in the next uh yeah, it's in the next section. Um where Evelyn says where they ask Evelyn, you know, do are these books based on you? And she goes, honestly, I can say it's a completely different person, and then at the same time reveals that she's not Rachel Weiss. So I really like that.
SPEAKER_03I gotta give him credit for that. Like that you're you're in on the joke, uh, but it's a joke that no one is happy about, like no one's laughing, like everyone's not happy, but good for them for leaning in.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that actually, if we want to jump ahead to the next one, that would probably be my number one vote. Um, yeah, I think callback wise, I'd I'd like double. I'm just gonna go like actually for real. I think double pistols with Rick is cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so Rick's unit the blue shirt, Zach is wearing a blue shirt in honor of Rick. Uh he looked great in this movie, by the way. Brendan Frazier looked awesome. Um look like a dad. Which I think kind of hurt it being like 19 in the 1940s, uh it does not look like he's Alex's dad. Uh so but he did in God bless him. Brendan went all all out for this, and he he still brought the energy uh in I a pretty tough situation. Yeah, that's true. In a tough one, which we'll get into some of his his famous lines. Speaking of lines, best line, Zach uh and Mike already mentioned it. I honestly I can say she's a completely different person. Uh, this one was in our cold open. Here's to Immotep. Made the bugger actually stay there from Jonathan that he does at Immotep's bar, which is I wouldn't be playing with fire there, uh Jonathan. Uh that's that's a bold move. One that's great in the trailer, Here We Go Again from Rick. Another one from Rick. God, I love a woman who can drive a truck. That one stood out to me. I feel I feel the same. Um, I feel the same. Shout out to Audrey. Uh and then this one's great uh from Jonathan. Uh Jonathan is just here for the one-liners. Uh, that's really the only reason he's in the movie. You guys are like mummy magnants. And then the car chase in Shanghai, which I did, I did like this. I did like this.
SPEAKER_02Um, at one point, uh Rick and Jonathan are on a vehicle, and Rick says, Fire!
SPEAKER_07Your ass is on fire, and then Jonathan says, Smack my ass.
SPEAKER_06I didn't know, I didn't notice the second part of that that exchange. That's hilarious. That is funny.
SPEAKER_02It's good. Um, another great wick one Rick one is he goes, ha ha ha ha, why am I laughing? Absolutely love it.
SPEAKER_03And then we move on to a very important character that we've we've mentioned, um, which is, I guess, a callback to another great creature ally. It's Geraldine the Yak. Ah, Geraldine, if I'd met a girl like you, Geraldine. And then Jonathan goes on to to explain why him and Geraldine share a bond. Um, what a great character. Uh, what what did you guys think when Geraldine the Yak was in this movie? And uh how upset were you that she didn't come back? To save the day, uh, there was no return of Geraldine.
SPEAKER_04I didn't know it was a yak, I'll be honest. Uh, that's why my letterbox review said cow. I know, and now updated it.
SPEAKER_05Okay, you okay, thank you, thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_06I waited until the comment yak. Yeah, I think we both held off because we knew this could be a fun thing in this moment. He says the yak yakt, Mike.
SPEAKER_04The yak yak. Yeah, the yak yakt. I I look, was I could have been asleep for all I know. Um, but uh I think for both Shannon and I, this was a Brie paradox for Shannon. Okay, it totally stopped the whole movie. And Shannon said something like, Wow, I love this move, I love this one way more now, or something like that.
SPEAKER_03Oh, Geraldine.
SPEAKER_06God, I mean it does it does add an element that we needed, like we needed something there.
SPEAKER_03I needed something, and it really helped it helped get me through. I just would have loved to see a call back to Geraldine. It wasn't very much uh Lord of the Rings Build the Pony, where uh I do believe Geraldine did make it back down the mountain to join her Yak family um and live a happy and prosperous Yak life. Uh, another one from Rick, same mummy, twice. And then uh our our pilot uh Davos says when he sees the dragon, Rick, should I quit drinking? And then Rick just shakes his head. As we mentioned, this is my favorite blue shirt, and then welcome to the 20th century from Rick, and then the last one, a great one. I really hate mummies, but actually he I think he does. They think they turn them on. What's your favorite? What's your favorite line out of the movie, gentlemen, and why is it? If I'd met a girl like you, Geraldine.
SPEAKER_06It is a fun, fun element. I mean, there's also an element when the mummy does start showing up and Rick is just freaking out. There's like a line that says, There's like, there's a mummy on the boost. He's just like running.
SPEAKER_07Oh, yeah, when he's running out, he's like, There's a mommy, we're gonna kill this guy. And just like, oh, it's happening again, guys!
SPEAKER_06That was funny. Like kind of lame, but funny. Um, that was one line that stuck out to me that I wanted to add to this list really quick for your consideration. I think the smack my ass might be it, though, dudes. Like that's funny. That's 2008.
SPEAKER_07My ass is on fire.
SPEAKER_06This that is comedy that is gonna make it comparable to Step Brothers and the year later, the hangover. That's why they're in the same category of film. Exactly.
SPEAKER_04My favorite line is um same mummy twice.
SPEAKER_02Yes, it's really good.
SPEAKER_06I think they had to say keep saying mummies so we could remind the viewers that there were there have been mummies in the film before.
SPEAKER_03This was a mummy franchise, yes. It's we had to remind ourselves.
SPEAKER_04How is this not a mummy? There's a they're fighting the a mummy.
SPEAKER_06Well, he's not a traditional mummy, it's not there. I I can tell you what happens, what a mummy actually is qualified as at the end of this, um, Mike, but Terracotta Warriors are not mummies. They are, they are, they're not mummies, they're not mummies.
SPEAKER_03All right, let's move on to our last bestie, best scene. Uh, I'm gonna throw this on here. The universal logo turning into the said map, as Matt uh Mike described. Uh, really nice transition. I liked it a lot. I love it when a logo is used into the film. I'm a big fan of it, obviously. Spear Spielberg's famous transition from the Paramount Mountains in Raiders of the Lost Ark. But this one was pretty good. Um, a little nod to Indiana Jones there. Uh, I mentioned it many times. Emotep's Bar, the car chase through Shanghai, the plane riding with the yaked yaked line uh with Geraldine, our our favorite girl. Uh the Yetis, just Yetis in general. Anytime we see the Yetis, and then the final Undead battle. I was gonna say the the fight with Michelle Yo and Jet Lee, but actually, I was disappointed. I thought that fight was gonna be a lot better. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I did he wasn't there, she's just fighting stuff.
SPEAKER_03Exactly, exactly. Like he, yeah, it's there were yeah, there was a couple even when he was a human, there was some CGI flips and stuff that just was frustrating. It's like lean into what you have and it it was unsatisfying. Um did you guys have a best scene uh in this movie? I know I know it was a tough, a tough watch, uh, but what was your best scene?
SPEAKER_04I actually really liked the um oh my gosh, I was just looking at the I mean Geraldine, the yak, the plane ride, that made the movie for me and my wife. That was the comic relief. It kind of like cut right through. Uh it was like at the perfect time in the movie where it's like, man, like this movie is kind of bad. And then like you get that and you're like, okay, I'm back in. Like, I'm back in.
SPEAKER_03They got me back in. Jonathan brought me back in. I think the the the thing that this movie does have is I think that some of the comedic lines, cheesy as they may be, still kept you going. Like you're like, well, maybe I'll get a zinger from Rick or Jonathan and it'll keep me going. Zach, what about you?
SPEAKER_06I mean, imagine a scene where the ADR is really bad because the sound the they clearly had to re-record because the wind is just too too blowy.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_06There are bazookas happening. There are machine guns. You were clearly outnumbered, and one of your cast runs to the side, stands under a gate that just happens to be there out into the middle of nowhere, and goes, Yetis, come here. And you're like, Why is she just in in in Chinese though? So you don't want to know that she's saying Yetis, come here. And like somehow her voice carries into the mountain, and what is responded to is three juggernaut of Yetis coming out, and you're sitting on your couch, like, what man? I'm just really like, I'm really not feeling like they're fun. These bazookas are gonna destroy them, and then you see that, and you can't stop laughing for 15 minutes, so that you put you pause the movie and you keep laughing in your own room, just by yourself. No one else is here, and the movie turns off because you've been laughing too long, and you can't recollect. I think that makes for a really good scene, guys. I think that makes for the best scene of the movie, the most ridiculous scene in the entire franchise, the most random new characters that you can imagine. They're better than scarabs, they're scarier than scarabs.
SPEAKER_03Wow, wow. Yes, the Yetis. I I I agree, gentlemen. I think the plane ride to anytime they're on the mountain um with the Yetis uh is the best part of the movie. It really is. And I like a contrast. I do like it being in the snow too. I I think that's a fun contrast with their characters, but well done, Zach. That uh that that is a well description of of how these characters play into the this was literally my viewing experience.
SPEAKER_04Like I God Luke, that I guess it wasn't quite a callback, um, wasn't quite a full scene, but it was a lit callback, okay. Um, and this movie made a lit callback.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04And that was when um when they were trying to land the plane on the side of the mountain and they almost went over the edge. I thought I was gonna have to break out my engineering notebook and start calculating the terminal velocity of the points. Yeah, uh a la golden eye.
SPEAKER_03Oh, we could have had Mike's engineering corner.
SPEAKER_06Uh it was so close. Could we have calculated how much weight would have had to be on the back of the plane in order for it to not fall off? Oh, that's a really good yeah.
SPEAKER_04The yak probably helped. Geraldine helped, right?
SPEAKER_03Geraldine helped Geraldine stabilized and counterweighted the plane from tipping. Wow.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And then that force of like vomiting actually pushed propelled. That's how rockets rocket. Yeah, it rocketed the plane backwards towards the to safety.
SPEAKER_03The yak yaked.
SPEAKER_06Geraldine was the other Duois X machina of this film.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes, yes. So we had a Falcon in the previous film, and then we have a Yak in this film. What will we get for the fourth installment uh coming in a couple years? Uh, who knows? Maybe Geraldine will make a return. All right, friends. Let's move on to ratings and meanings. And what's next for the mummy cast? Um, as we have done, we are going to have Zach read his letterboxed review for the mummy, the emperor's tomb of Geraldine.
SPEAKER_07Oh, wait. Sorry, sorry. What did the Emperor turn into Geraldine?
SPEAKER_02The tomb of Geraldine, the Dragon Emperor. No, the Mummy, Colin, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, featuring Gerald Dean.
SPEAKER_06Feature Geraldine. Geraldine with special appearance, guest appearance by German. Guest appearance by Gerald Dean. The Oxford English Dictionary defines a mummy as the body of a human being or animal embalmed as a preparation for burial. The mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, um, in parentheses, or the mummy three, where is the mummy, as I've been calling it, is the burial ritual to put this downward sloping series to bed. Mummy 3 prepares the franchise for death by scooping out its insides, injecting a nonsense attempt to diversify the content, and successfully failing to do anything beyond infuriate, and wrapping our beloved characters in in Remember Wins that command us to turn off the movie and just turn on the original. You can't mourn for the death of the mummy franchise because it was so painful by the end. This movie does not slap, it's much more a slap in the face, and that is my review.
SPEAKER_04Do you I'm just kind of picking this up now? Do you write uh do you uh punctuate all of your reviews with this movie slaps or this movie does not this franchise, just this franchise, just this franchise?
SPEAKER_06Yes, and it has been this movie slaps, does not flap slap, this movie slaps back.
SPEAKER_03That's been the uh yeah, it slaps, it doesn't slap, and it slapped you in the face. All right, gentlemen, I want to talk about the this trilogy. I want to get your your kind of stamp view as we've re-watched this trilogy. We're gonna talk about our next episode. But Mike, where does this trilogy stand? Where are your thoughts on watching these movies sequentially? Um, and how do you kind of rate them overall uh when we look at these three films?
SPEAKER_04I'm not at all interested in ever watching these movies ever again.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, Mike. Zach.
SPEAKER_06I will never watch the last two ever again. I will watch the the first one every five years. Um that is a great film. The context of what this movie is, it's just you lose the plot by the end here. We're just trying to Universal's trying to just keep the culture of mummy alive in a time where we don't want it anymore. Like years before that, the Wolfman within um Vinicio del Toro came out, no one wanted that one either. Like it was we were done by the end here. And so I think that what I want to do is just time lock the original mummy and keep that in my heart forever, and then um go back in time and instead of like choosing to kill like uh infuriating former Fuhrer or something like that, erase these movies from history, and have the mummy live alone with no returns or resurrections or emperors.
SPEAKER_04Zach, that would be uh apropos for this franchise because just like this franchise completely ignored the existence of the Nazis, it sounds like so will you by going back in time and just getting rid of these other two movies.
SPEAKER_06What if, like somehow, the existence of these other two movies is tied to the Nazis, and I can just go that far back and two birds once donut.
SPEAKER_03There we go. I like it. Sounds like the Mummy Four plot. Gentlemen, thank you for going for this trilogy journey with me, but it is not over. Uh, as we've talked about, the Universal Mummy property is more than just these three films. There are other films in the franchise. There are spin-offs, there is reboots and retellings and origin stories. So, what we are going to do for next month's episode, we all have our homework assignments. Mike Wynne is going to be watching the 2017 movie The Mummy, starring Thomas Cruz. Are you ready for that next step, Mike? Yeah, I'm excited.
SPEAKER_02Zach, you have the pleasure of watching all of the Scorpion King movies one through five. We will not judge on your uh competency of how you watch them, whether they're on in the background or whether you just read the Wikipedia after the third one.
SPEAKER_03Um, but that is your assignment. My assignment is to go back into movie film history and watch the original Universal Mummy movies, potential spin-offs, potential hammer horror spinoffs, um, to give a historical context of this property. All right, gentlemen, that's our homework. Listeners, viewers, our next episode, we will be returning with our reports, our assignments, doing the work for you on the mummy cast. So you are all up to date on this franchise. Gentlemen, this was fun to watch these three movies again. I think that the first one, and what we found out in a lot of these franchise rewatch series is there's usually one or two, and it's typically the first one that stand way above the others. And I think this is true of this iteration of the Mud Mummy trilogy. However, I think there is hope that this fourth movie with Rachel Vise back could could really change the course and the legacy of how we view this franchise.
SPEAKER_06Unless one of us finds some some amazing gem in the homework assignment pile that we have to take care of for next episode. That's there's still that opportunity.
SPEAKER_03There is that opportunity. There is that opportunity. The mummy or the Scorpion King 4 with Billy Zayn.
SPEAKER_04I think as of last year, there are now 400 Scorpion King movies.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, and none of them are on HBO like the rest of these movies.
SPEAKER_07So many, they're all on Ningos.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there's a strange Zach's gonna be shelling $30 for the Scorpion King 8. Zach definitely is getting the if we're doing a group project assignment, Zach is definitely have the has the brunt of it. Um he will be greatly praised and rewarded.
SPEAKER_04There's a really good chance though that if Zach goes to Walmart tonight, there's a single DVD that has all of them on it. That's true. Two dots.
SPEAKER_06Uh what time is it? I think uh I can make it before close. All right, I'll see you guys soon.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, viewers and listeners. We'll talk to you next time on least important things.
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
Stuck On Sorna
Hosted by Daniel Stephen
Back Look Cinema: The Podcast
Alonzo Richardson
There Will Be Duds
There Will Be Duds
Retro Movie Roundtable
Russell Guest, Bryan Frye, Chad Robinson, Dustin Melbardis, Lizzy Haynes, Michelle Devorah Kahn