Least Important Things
A podcast about movies, friendship, and finding meaning in the most important of the least important things in our lives.
Least Important Things
The Mummy Returns
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
The Mummy Returns…again?
Zach Hall and Mike Wynne join Luke Ferris for the second installment of The Mummycast, our franchise rewatch series on The Mummy.
This time, the boys return to the dessert for the often derided follow-up to the 1999 classic to discuss everything from Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson’s infamous digital film debut to Horus the falcon, the real hero of the story.
---
Catch new episodes of Least Important Things every Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube.
Support Least Important Things on Patreon
You can be part of the show by leaving a voicemail here.
You can email the show at leastimportantthings@gmail.com or reach out via social media at the links below.
Read our articles and learn more about the show at www.leastimportantthings.com
---
Sources for this episode:
- Royalty-free music and sound effects via Artlist.com
- The Mummy Returns Official Trailer #1 - Brendan Fraser Movie (2001) HD
Catch new episodes of Least Important Things every Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube.
You can email the show at leastimportantthings@gmail.com or reach out via social media at the links below.
Theme song by John Ferris
Support Least Important Things on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/LeastImportantThings
Follow Least Important Things:
All content falls under fair use: any copying of copyrighted material is done for a limited, educational and “transformative” purpose, such as to comment upon, criticize, or parody a copyrighted work. Such uses can be done without permission from the copyright owner.
Gentlemen, do you smell what the rock is clawing? It's the mummy returns coming up next on least important things.
SPEAKER_00The mummy returns.
SPEAKER_03Welcome to a podcast called Least Important Things, a show about movies, friendship, and finding meaning in the most important of the least important things. I'm your host, Luke Ferris. In today's episode, Yes Friends, we are uncovering the 2001 sequel of the mummy for our special rewatch series. It's the mummy returns. And of course, we have some returning guests that look nervous to talk about this film. Joining me on the mummy cast, as we're calling it, uh, is my theme park connoisseur, Mike Wynn. Mike Wynn, welcome back.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, happy to be back.
SPEAKER_03Thanks for returning.
SPEAKER_05I almost wore my uh Universal Studio shirt. Oh, that would have been good.
SPEAKER_03We're gonna talk about some theme parks a little later on. We're really excited. And of course, we uh brought back our our our beautiful friend who's typically here for notorious sequels. Yeah, and Zach Hall, welcome back. Uh, this one might be the best notorious sequel of them all. This this one's gonna be one of the tops.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, this is the top one for all of my reviews of everything.
SPEAKER_05Um, yeah. Is it possible that this is the least important of the least important? Yes, definitely the least important of all of them.
SPEAKER_04That is actually a good post. Thanks for having me on, by the way. Yes. I didn't know if your viewers knew that I had a bottom half. You yeah, you do. You have a bottom half.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, if you're watching on YouTube or on Apple Podcasts, both Mike and Zach are here in the studio. We're thrilled. Zach's been here before, but first time recording. Yes. Um, and you brought your your the bottom half. I brought it with me, yes, and then put it on. The better half. The better half. Some would say the better half. Um, we also have a long time uh I would say behind the scenes. Oh, look at this. This is hilarious. He's got it. Well long time. I hope that was an important rip. No, no, it's not important. It's actually not. It's not. But he's doing advertising. Incredible.
SPEAKER_05He's advertising the podcast.
SPEAKER_03No, it's fine. He's gonna be mad. Long time producer of the show actually was uh part of Two Beers Two Nerds, a defunct podcast that's kind of started years ago. Yes, yes. Our producer, Winston, is is here. Winston, what are your thoughts? Yes, tell us. I agree, I agree. We've come a long way. We've come a long way since that very small apartment.
SPEAKER_04This will take a this will have to be cut out soon.
SPEAKER_03No, it won't. We're very we'll keep it all in, keep it all in. I'm very happy to have Winston here. Thank you for joining us. I'm a longtime producer who's thrilled to be here. Yeah. I'm thrilled to talk about the mummy. In honor of the return of the mummy, in honor of Winston, in honor of a very special movie star that launched his career in this film. I thought we could have a beverage that is created by said star, The Rock, Dwayne The Rock Johnson. This is his tequila, teramana. This is an Anyeho tequila. Now, there's no pressure to drink a lot of this. Okay. There's a little pressure to drink a little. I have some mugs that we can put this, and I brought ice as well, so you can put a little ice. Thank you. In honor of the rock, I felt like we should drink a little teramana tequila. Okay.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna start the podcast upside down in my chair, but I will end it instead.
SPEAKER_03So there's a little terramanopour. Wow. Okay. That's a that's a gentleman's pour. That was a gentleman's pour, right? It's a terramanopour. Okay.
SPEAKER_05Do you like ice?
SPEAKER_04Uh oh, just one QB, please. I appreciate it. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00Teramana.
SPEAKER_03Terramana. Wow. Okay. I do a little ice in mine, and we are drinking these in our uh fake corporation mugs in honor of the show. Yes. You can put I put a little lime in mine. I think that's nice. Let the record reflect I hate tequila. Yes. I figured you both don't like tequila. I would care of tequila.
SPEAKER_04I had a lot of tequila back. Yes, I I think the good old days.
SPEAKER_03This is this is soaked in whiskey barrels, so it's the closest tequila I could get to that. But in honor of rock, the movie star, cheers. Yes, cheers, gentlemen. Cheers. I like these mugs, by the way. Oh, that's good. That's good. Oh, thank goodness for lime. Taste like scorpions. Tastes like scorpions. Not like scorpions. Do you agree?
SPEAKER_05Not as bad as I thought.
SPEAKER_03I figured the whiskey-aged barrel stuff would be good. Yeah. What do you think, Winston? What do you think? Yes. Well, friends, before we get started, thank you for joining us. Uh, thank you for returning to the mummy returns and the mummy cast. Um, if you're here, you're in for it. If you had if you didn't listen to the first episode about the mummy, uh, wow, welcome. Uh, this is gonna be a journey. Uh, if you have, thank you for joining us. Um, before we get into the nitty-gritty, but we want to just say uh we're really excited to do this. This is we haven't done a rewatch series in a long time, and uh we're we're loving it. So we're gonna continue this on. Obviously, this is the second of the third uh three movies in the trilogy. Uh, we will also be doing a fourth where we we actually just decided this where we're going to literally two minutes before this. We're going to instead of doing the Tom Cruise one, instead of doing all the Scorpion King sequels, uh, instead of doing the original mummy, we're gonna divide and conquer and kind of do homework and come back. So it's going to be all the other mummy properties, all the other movies in this universal mummy properties, and then we're gonna talk about it. So yeah, uh, that's gonna be kind of like where we're headed. That's the vision of the of the mummy cast. And if you want to learn more, go ahead and visit us on Patreon. That's patreon.com/slash leastimport things, and you can become a free or paid member, and you'll get alerts on when new episodes are coming out and more special surprises. And most importantly, this is an independent podcast, and the best way you can help the show is by recommending it to someone. So, whether they're a mummy fan or not, um, please, please let let us let them know about this show. Or if maybe you're on a Zeppelin um flying through the Sahara Desert, maybe you just have some time on your hands and you want to talk about podcasts. And if you're in that situation, please recommend least important things. Now, gentlemen, uh, we have a great sponsor for today's episode. Uh, listeners, viewers, every rewatch episode we have a special sponsor on the show. Uh I don't endorse any company, product, or organization unless I truly believe in it. And this sponsor is one that I believe in. Today's episode is brought to you by Magic Carpet Airlines. Do you need a nefarious charter through cursed lands, maybe a getaway ride for a heist, or just your average rescue mission in an ancient hidden oasis? Then look no further than Magic Carpet Airlines. We have a fine selection of antique planes in blimps for any travel needs across the Greater Cairo area. Our pilots are well bathed, rested, and trained for any journey at any time. Please visit Magic Carpet Airlines to make your Egyptian travel wishes come true. Just ask for Izzy. Magic Carpet Airlines only accept payments in gold, ancient artifacts, spears, disguised as scepters.
SPEAKER_04That's that's per depth perception, not a liability. Liability. Liability.
SPEAKER_03Um, when's the last time you guys have been on a blimp or a zeppelin um and done a journey across uh ancient lands?
SPEAKER_05I actually have an actual story about this. You do? Yeah. I this is not planned. Yeah, I've actually so in in Turkey, yes. I have a Turkey.
SPEAKER_03That's the pr that's how you pronounce it. Yep. Oh, got it cool. Um I didn't know.
SPEAKER_05I think they were uh I've I've been podcasts. You know, they didn't like being the second top Google search uh for Turkey. Okay, gotcha. That's bad. Um but when I I've been to Turkey a couple times, I have friends there, and um in the middle of the country, there's a national park, Gorme National Park or whatever. It's a massive national park, and it's where Cappadocia is. And Cappadocia is famously one of the things that like Turkey is known globally for are their hot air balloon rides at sunrise. So I have actually done a hot air balloon ride um in Gorome, uh, where you know we got up at two o'clock in the morning and got bus to a field where they blew up a hot air balloon and we went up. Yeah, they blew it up. Okay, gas powered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gas powered. And so so uh and I'm I was actually very scared of this. I wouldn't be scared, I'd be terrified. But uh it was one of the smoothest like rides ever. It was it was it was it was actually a very amazing experience. And if you're ever in Turkey, I think this is like one of the coolest things you could do traveling ever.
SPEAKER_03And we learned that it's quiet too, so it's good for sneak attacks.
SPEAKER_05Very quiet. I mean, it's like still and quiet, and the the pilot that we had is like a legitimate, like that's that's his job. Like his job is to pilot airplanes, to pilot hot air balloons, to yeah.
SPEAKER_03Now, how many people were planning on proposing that day, like out of the group? Because there's a lot that go off all at once, right? Oh yeah, yeah. There was like there was hundreds of every other person like about to give a do a proposal.
SPEAKER_05No, there was actually a lot of uh there it's so funny you asked. The uh thanks for asking by the um uh what actually is kind of a like a reasonably large or relatively large business in that area is people will travel um from neighboring countries and regions to uh uh Turkey, which is strategically located, like you have Asia, the Middle East, yeah, um, and Europe all kind of there. And um this is a very very like Instagrammable place. Uh-huh. And so people will act people actually own dress rental businesses in town, and you will you can rent like really nice dresses and then take them on your photo shoot, whether you're gonna be in an air uh in a blimp um or hot air balloon, or just having it as a backdrop, or having yeah, the whole skyline as a backdrop. And so we were so as we were in there, as we were in this hot air balloon, there were people um in different sections because it's like there's like nine sections in the hot air balloon. There were people in there who were you know taking photos and everything. It was kind of chilly that early in the morning, but then also as we were going up and down throughout Gorome, there were people there was there was I mean, does hundreds, maybe even thousands of people just in different areas of the national parks taking photo shoots where their backdrop they're on the ground, their backdrop is me. It's you, yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's the biggest photo bomb in human history, just sitting there, just sitting there, just like his letterbox.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, just really letterbox program. Look, if you're listening and you're like, what is going on? I've never heard of this. If you just Google Cappadocia hot air balloons or turkey hot air balloons, I mean this is like it's this is a very famous thing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03No, I would like them to have a rental shop where you can get uh the costumes from Mummy Two Mummy Returns. Uh so Brendan Fraser and Rachel Vise, you could dress up. I would like to dress up as Rachel Vise, yes. Well, thank you. I did not expect that we were gonna have a hot air balloon corner here on the podcast, but that's just the scratching the surface of what could possibly happen today.
SPEAKER_04I honestly I think that's more content than uh we might have for the rest of this episode, so it might replace everything.
SPEAKER_03It's a good filler. All right, let's move on to back of the VHS. Now, this is the segment where let's just say it's 2001. Um, it is a a summer's day like today, a beautiful summer's day, but you want to watch a film as a family or with your friends, and maybe you're at a local blockbuster or video store and you're walking down the aisles, and you say, Hey, they made another mummy. I really love the mummy. Such a good movie. So you take uh that box and you flip it around, and this is what you would read, Michael. Oh, yeah, we give it to him, right? Yes.
SPEAKER_05The year's biggest action adventure is coming home with a vengeance. Brendan Fasier and an all-star cast reunite with Steven Summers for explosive non-stop thrills in the ultimate roller coaster movie ride from the Seattle Post intelligence.
SPEAKER_03Wow, the Seattle Post. They made it in the back of the uh the back of the VHS.
SPEAKER_05An ancient legacy of terror is unleashed when an accursed mummy, Emotep, played by Arnold Volslo, is resurrected along with a force even more powerful. The Scorpion King, the Rock. Just the Rock. Yeah, not Dwayne, not Dwayne, yeah. Now, as fate of now, as the fate of all mankind hangs in the balance, Rick O'Connell, played by Brendan Fraser, and his wife Evie, played by Rachel Wise, embark on a daring, desperate race to save their son and the world from unspeakable evil. We'll get into why it's unspeakable. Supercharged and pulse pounding action and spectacular special effects that'll blow you away. The Mummy Returns is the best adventure movie of the year. Uh MTV Radio.
SPEAKER_03Beautiful, Mike. Thank you for sharing the back of the VHS. I like that one because it was uh it mentioned roller coasters, so I thought you would like that one.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, I also they put uh the rock on the back because the rock doesn't have speaking roles. Dwayne would have speaking roles, Dwayne would.
SPEAKER_03He's just a character who just makes noises. Yes. Now I think that's a pretty that's accurate of what the plot is. And you're like, okay, that seems like a very basic, straightforward plot. Maybe not so much once we get into it. Yeah. All right.
SPEAKER_05Is there any description of plot in there? Well, um yeah, save the world. Save the world.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, big heavy hitter knockout fight. They're kind of previewing it there.
SPEAKER_02Is that plot?
SPEAKER_04Uh we just it's more of this like name-dropping.
SPEAKER_05Have you guys seen there's a popular book? Um you can go online and look it up. Uh, the title of the book is The Plot. Oh, that's good. And it's a it's like a satire, right? Oh, really? And there's a sequel. You want to know what the name is? Plot twist. No, that would be hilarious. No.
SPEAKER_04The setting?
SPEAKER_05No, the sequel.
SPEAKER_04The sequel. Cool.
SPEAKER_03Nice.
SPEAKER_05Nice.
SPEAKER_03Well, this is a sequel, and it is directed and written by Steven Summers, and it is starring Brendan Frazier, Rachel Vise, John Hannah, Arnold Volslo. These are all returners. Um Patricia Vele. Oh, this is gonna be tough. Okay. Um Patricia, who did Achmaur? Thank you. Um Freddie Both as Alex, uh, Oded Fair uh Fahir returns as Arthur Bay. Um, and then we have some newcomers. Uh Elon Armstrong as Mr. Hafez. Um, the the guy the bad guy from The Born Identity as Lakna. I cannot say his name. I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_04Isn't it Mr. Echo too?
SPEAKER_03Yes, and he's in he's in everything, uh, especially at this time. Like he's about to be in everything that you love. Um Sean Parks as Izzy, and then this says Dwayne Johnson in IMDB, but it is the rock as the Scorpion King. All right, onto facts that you can fact check. I'm not gonna do the work for you. The Mummy Returns was released on May 4th, 2001. That weekend, you could have also seen Driven, Bridget Jones's Diary, Spy Kids, and Along Came the first Spy Kids? The first spy cast.
SPEAKER_05Can we do a rewatch for spy kids? Yeah, that would be good. That's pretty great.
SPEAKER_03Spy cast?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That's great.
SPEAKER_03Spy Kids is really good. I haven't watched in a long time. That would be fun. The film's budget was 98 million. The film's budget was 98 million, and it went on to gross an incredible 436 million worldwide. Briefly setting home video recording.
SPEAKER_05How much worldwide?
SPEAKER_03436.
SPEAKER_05And what was the budget? 98.
SPEAKER_0398. This movie did.
SPEAKER_05Why are people watching it?
SPEAKER_03So we've talked about this in our other franchises. If a the first movie does well, the second movie always does better. Doesn't matter about the quality because people are buying tickets based on the first movie. It's just like how in the Pirates movies, like stop.
SPEAKER_05The second Pirates movie was good.
SPEAKER_03We don't have time for that.
SPEAKER_04But it also like it kind of jumps into another genre because it becomes like not just a horror movie in the second one. It you bring your family after the first one because you know it's like PG 13 enough for your kids to go. So it definitely became like a family movie the second round. So bring your kids, enjoy that. And also, like it's a pretty good international film, too.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and the VHS aspect.
SPEAKER_04Like because of the multilingual. Yeah. Because multilingual.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's really inclusive. It has all these languages that come out.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, a lot of languages that you actually would understand outside of this country. You're right.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03The much criticized digital effects, we're just getting right into it, of the Scorpion King. If you haven't seen this movie, um, yes, the criticized at the time because I okay Yes, uh, was rushed. Uh they only completed it eight days before the film's release. Eight days before the film's release. Eight days?
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. How did they ship the movie then? I don't know. Uh Mike, how would you describe the CGI of the rock in the finale sequence, uh Battle Royale at the end of the movie?
SPEAKER_05They did a really good job of trying to make sure the close-ups were still shots.
SPEAKER_04The smoothest skin for a scorpion king ever.
SPEAKER_03It is when we talked about it in the first episode. The mummy holds up pretty well from a CGI standpoint. The CGI of the rock, he is, it's the rock's much as we mentioned Zach brought his bottom half. Yep. The rock brought his top half. Yeah. And it doesn't really look like the rock, but it is. It's supposed to be the rock. It looks like the rock. It's got muscles. And then it's the rock. A scorpion body. Yes. It's one of the most frightening things you would ever see.
SPEAKER_05Did did ILM do the no? Did they do they did the mummy though, didn't they?
SPEAKER_03I don't know. We have to do you can't. I think you said that MLS. Yeah. Did I? Okay. I'm not going to fact check your back. I'm not going to do the work for you. Um, Brednan Frazier tore his spinal disc, cracked a rib, and injured his knees during production. Dwayne Johnson suffered from food poisoning and sunstroke, and he lost over 10 tones and 10 pounds and said it was the worst I've ever felt in my life. Food poisoning from what? Eating sand? I guess so. In order to keep his scorpions. Yeah, when he ate that scorpion. Oh, he ate that scorpion.
SPEAKER_04That's not food poisoning, that's scorpion poisoning.
SPEAKER_03In order to keep his smooth, smooth body hairless, Arnold Volslo had his entire body shaved twice a day. What? Yeah. Whoa. Twice a day. Originally he tried waxing, but he couldn't stand the pain. Um, that's called doing it for the for the movie. Dude, that's like razor bum scalar. Oh man, Demotep uh doing it for the for the the cleaning.
SPEAKER_04So the CGI of the razor bumps. Yeah. Wait, did he not do that in the first one then?
SPEAKER_03I'm sure he did it in the first one. Well they didn't have to. Yeah. That's why they did that's why they did one scene. Yeah, one scene where he has skin.
SPEAKER_04That's why they killed him off.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're like, that's too much shavy. Uh Freddie the kid was a huge I don't believe this, but well, this is Freddie was a huge fan of the mummy. He had seen it over 30 times, he proclaims. He passed on the opportunity to play in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to participate in this movie because the mummy was one of his favorite movies. He also knew so much that he became a consultant on the first film. He knows every line and detail from the movie. When anyone on the set of the mummy returns needed to know something about the first movie, they asked him. It was his first professional acting job and his last. And I think that's why is this like Bat Kid?
SPEAKER_04Like he was about to die.
SPEAKER_03I think this is someone who was interviewed on a podcast 15 years later and is making up that he was going to be cast in Harry Potter. I think this is Tall Tales.
SPEAKER_04Has an IMDB profile that can edit things and add stuff to the trivia.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I think this is a someone who's working the cons and making it. Yeah, what's the source on that? Uh you can check the facts. I but but this is a classic with uh a lot of these genre movies, is like, yeah, a child actor, like they are not real reliable narrators.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, especially for something that isn't popular, they want to that's the best one to claim.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're like, I am the mummy too guy, and I can I can go to Kevin.
SPEAKER_05My favorite is when you get the uh like the sweet the kids who did the sweet life and the sweet life on deck who are those life is Zach and Cody. Zach and Cody, I forget the Zach and Cody, yeah. The Sprouses, the Sprouses, the Sprouses, yeah, um, I mean, look, Disney stars, Disney Child Stars, whatever, but but sometimes I'm just like I'm really excited. You guys weren't five. Like you you did have some agency.
SPEAKER_03I love you going over going at the Sprouse trees. Yeah, going at the Sprouse. It's not just about that, it's the whole thing. It's a whole thing. The battle sequence and the Con O Man, uh the Conal Manor was originally supposed to be set in a casino owned by Jonathan, which I actually think would be cool. That would be really cool. But the budget constraints meant that the house used at do you know what that house was also in? I did peep at the trivia, so I was The Omen nineteen seventy six was that house.
SPEAKER_05I have so many questions. So hold on. You're saying that there were budget constraints, so we couldn't be in a casino. So instead we're in a four hundred thousand square foot house that we ruin unreliable shoot through doors.
SPEAKER_03Um Ardeth Bey is the only person in the film who refers to Imotep as the creature, which I love when he says that. This is explained in the novelization of the film, which also states that Ardeth uh fears even referring to Imotep by name. Uh Ardeth Bey in the novel overcomes this unease and reluctantly infers him as Immitap.
SPEAKER_04I'm kind of glad the novelization goes into Ardeth because I actually have a problem with Ardeth in this movie. Oh, really? I don't do not enjoy it. We love novelization. So I need to know what was going on.
SPEAKER_05I want to read the novel. So novelization is in like a novel. Universal commissioned an author to make a book after the movie was produced.
SPEAKER_03Did you listen to my novelization episode? No. Okay, you could take it a list and it'll explain a lot. You'll learn a lot. I don't have any actually down here. We have all of our novelizations near the TV. Audrey Audrey organized them, so all of the book books with adaptations or novelizations.
SPEAKER_05But that's different. So a book with an adaptation to a movie is different than a the what you're describing. That's what I was trying to understand.
SPEAKER_03Yes. So so a novelization. Sorry, Luke, I don't listen to every freaking word that comes out of your mouth. In the director's commentary for the film, Rider Director Steven Severs expressed that the idea of the Scorpion King keeping stones carving directions of how to kill him and the cypher was ridiculous. So I'm glad at least he was self-aware. And then according, I don't know if you knew this, guys. We might have to add this to our list. Okay. The mummy, the animated series.
SPEAKER_04What?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I uh yeah, it exists.
SPEAKER_04I watched it.
SPEAKER_03Magi was created by Amar, the son of the Pharaoh's bodyguard, and it also reaffirmed that the Magi have been around for 3,000 years. Um so go check out Mummy, the animated series.
SPEAKER_04He has Brennan Fraser has blonde hair in it.
SPEAKER_03Interesting.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, okay. So look, I'm new to the whole mummy thing. Like I knew about the movies and everything. I had seen the mummy and I'd seen the Tom Cruise one. Oh, the rides.
SPEAKER_03Yes. And the rides.
SPEAKER_05So so yeah, in the ride, yeah, whatever. So I'm familiar with the franchise. The more we get into this, the more it seems like Universal upon completing building Universal Studios Florida. Yes. They looked at what they their IP and they looked at what Disney had and they were like, We need something. Can we spend billions of dollars on something? Like, can we find something to spend money on? To spend money on. And the because because we're gonna get into, I mean, there's spin-offs, there's an animated series, there's novelizations, like it really seems like there should be there's gotta be some uh something out there, some like um some un what's the right word that I'm looking for, some unsanctioned verbal, like oral history, yeah, of what was going on in uh Universal Studios at the C-suite level that drove this because nothing suggests this level of investment besides 48,6 million. But universal the other properties that were doing that, it wasn't like this.
SPEAKER_03I mean, it's interesting. I think what I could see if I was a C-suite at Universal, I would look at our competitors, I would say Lucasfilms owns the rights to Indiana Jones, they are licensing Indiana Jones to the Disney parks, but they're at this point they are not making Indiana Jones movies, and they're not they're doing like young Indiana Jones and they have some novels, but like they're not maximizing it, and and there's not a lot of action adventure, like this type of era of swashbuckling tales, like you had Romance of the Stone, but like not from like a franchise.
SPEAKER_05Why didn't they take what they saw an opportunity? But they had it, but but they had um yes, they saw an opportunity to understand, but why didn't they drive that through Amblin and Spielberg's vehicle rather than that's true?
SPEAKER_03That's a good point.
SPEAKER_04I don't know because they have the property and they gotta keep it going, probably. So, like yeah, with the mummy, I think they they have to keep the mummy going.
SPEAKER_03Like they I think they legally have to keep making mummy stuff or they lose the rights to it. We'll we'll have to double check that because I think that's an interesting point. We should do it.
SPEAKER_05We should actually do an episode on that. Why studios um reinvigorate properties that nobody wants so that they can keep the money? Because they keep the rights, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Because that's part of it, is you have to keep the rights. Uh, for those that don't know, a lot of times if you don't make up a especially if it's a bought property. So if I'm if Luke's movie studio buys the Mike Wynn show um from Mike Wynn, because in the con but in the contra it's a big IP and it has a lot of fans. In the contract, I have to make a Mike Wait Win show movie every five years, otherwise it goes up basically becomes a free agent or goes back to you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that works. I like it. I like it. It's it's a fascinating through land. I think so.
SPEAKER_05We're no longer having an episode about the mummy. I'm asking you to make a different episode now.
SPEAKER_04So it's a good idea though, because I mean there's a lot of potential to do some deep dive research that honestly we love. Yeah, I get Greg Jackson in on this.
SPEAKER_03We do, we gotta get Greg uh Our Man in the West. We'll have to get him and uh and get some some intel. He's the man in the West. He is the man in the West. Yes, he is. We have a man our man in the West. Our man in the West, Greg Jackson. Love you, brother. Okay, overall thoughts. You kind of just jumped into it. Um, history with this movie, uh, thoughts of rewatching it, thoughts watching it for the first time. Is the first time for you, Mike? Yeah, first time for me.
SPEAKER_05So I told you guys this. Uh, something was wrong with my stream. Um where literally every scene in which they talk in a different language, I did not have subtitles for. Despite me trying to get them.
SPEAKER_03Um this is happening to be fair, this is happening to me when I stream movies on certain platforms. Like they do not like I just watched the French connection for the first time and all the way through, and they do not have none of the French was translated on my Tubi stream.
SPEAKER_04Not very connected, obviously.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, um, which it was fine, it didn't hurt, but uh there was no French control. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05So here's the problem, though, because significant exposition of this movie takes place in a different language.
SPEAKER_03Yes, that's true.
SPEAKER_05So I had to use context clues to understand what this movie was about. And I just I like just so you guys know what I'm coming in with, to the best of my understanding, the movie is about a mummy who's upset that there's no more moisturizer. Whoa, you pull that out. So he is eating other people's skin so that he can have moisturized moisturizer, which makes sense because he's in the desert, and that's why Dwayne, the Scorpion King's skin, is so smooth at the end.
SPEAKER_04Because he has a a wake. He has the moisture, he has all the moisture in the desert.
SPEAKER_03This could just be like a Cetophil or Cera V commercial, essentially. Yeah, like a two uh yes, I like it. Wow, a Jergens commercial The Mummy Returns, sponsored by Jergens.
SPEAKER_04Because when he gets skid, he is moist.
SPEAKER_03That is moist, um well exfoliated and also hydrated. And as we know, shaved multiple times and buttered, probably this is buttered up. Oh, they buttered it up. It was buttered up, yeah. They buttered up. Zach, how about you? What what was your experience? Uh you're a big fan of this franchise, the first film, but like for first film. What's your what's your walk with this movie?
SPEAKER_04I my walk with this movie is definitely I have watched it before. I remember watching it as a 12-year-old and being very disappointed. And I was disappointed yet again. So I I think but watching re-watching this, this dug up a lot of that old trauma from the original watch. Like um, pigbees. Like the pigbees, I forgot that.
SPEAKER_03I was like, I do not remember that in the TNT cut.
SPEAKER_04I did think that um for some reason in the first movie there was a double bus in that, and it was cool to see that come out from out of frame, out of nowhere. Yeah. Uh and also like the it's a fun chase scene. So it is.
SPEAKER_03I like I like anytime like an adventure movie they go back to like London or a different urban area. Exactly.
SPEAKER_04So I think it's it's definitely one where recommending the series um I knew was gonna be a step down for us, and I'm sorry for that going in. Um, I will continue to apologize profusely for it. I know that it's a You don't need to apologize.
SPEAKER_03We knew what we were in for. Yeah, it's definitely anytime we've done these franchise rewatch, it's not like we're like, wow, four amazing. Second movie is. Yeah, that second movie is so good. That's it. Born was better.
SPEAKER_04Born was very good. I thought, I thought the second was better than the first. Yes. Born is better. We had to do the episode, then let it simmer for him. Yes, but America. Yeah. So I think looking back at again, it was definitely a better family Friday night movie for us sitting at home and watching an adventure. Yes, but not anything notable that like I can't say that I this one sticks with me through life. Yes. So but this the pygmies do.
SPEAKER_03Yes, this movie I forgot so much about it. It was one that was kind of always on TV. I mean, the first two movies were kind of always on. So it's like I I don't really remember watching it all the way through in like an adult context. I don't think I ever have, and I missed there was a lot of stuff. Again, we talked about this last episode, but I think this is a really interesting time in cinema. This is the pre-9-11 films, and I think a lot of them are I don't know if we really make movies. I guess the like Minecraft movie or some of the animated movies are like this, they're PG-13 or like a hard PG, and like everyone can go. Yeah, like an eight-year-old can go, a 13-year-old can go, a parent can go. And I just feel like the innocence of these movies and that they are bombastic and crazy is part of this like pre-9-11 era of movies. Like we talked, we were mentioning Borns, like Borns are very much post-9-11. We distrust the government, uh, the government power, like it is yeah, darkness. Like, this is really the last year of these big, huge, happy, campy movies. Jurassic Park 3, we've talked about came out that summer as well. It's just a it's just an interesting time in history. I also think this is probably the perfect bar movie. Now, if you're at a bar and it has TVs, you're sitting down, you're hanging out with friends, you're catching up, you'd be having a couple, a couple of pints, and maybe they have a a sports game on, and maybe they have another another monitor that has TNT. I've only been to one bar that's like this. And maybe they have a movie on. Yeah. Like they're on a different channel, or maybe they like there was a hockey game on TNT, and then now we're now like they forgot to switch it. Yeah. And the mummy to or the mummy returns, excuse me, is on in the background. Is the perfect just like you look up every now and again while you're walking to the bathroom or you're ordering another drink at the bar, you're just like, huh, what's going on here? What's Brendan Fraser doing? What's Ritual Wise doing? Look, like you don't really need. I mean, maybe there's subtitles, maybe there's not. It's just kind of a good background movie. That's how I would describe it.
SPEAKER_05This is the case. So so there's a bar in Holland that you really like. Yes. Our brewing company. Shout out. Shout out. Become a sponsor. Um and I do kind of think that this is the kind of movie that I would see on there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it like it's a five o'clock happy hour. You're waiting for a friend. Like you, I don't like going on my phone if I'm alone at a bar or coffee shop. I like, and that's why it's nice if they have a TV with a channel on, and that's a perfect example of a place where just if the mummy two is on, I'd be thrilled.
SPEAKER_04And a giant mouth and a wave of water just catches your eye. You're like, why? What is going on here? And you see it, yeah.
SPEAKER_03To me, it's a perfect bar movie. Okay. Let's go. I'm gonna take a sip of Terramana because I have to talk about Dwayne Johnson. Okay. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. He was in this movie? Yes, yes. In spirit, yes, in CGI form and real life form.
SPEAKER_04They just use this image, actually, because there is no like that could not be his voice possibly. No. Like, we don't, we can't verify.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna, this is my take. Okay. I think this is one of the most important movies in modern cinema history.
SPEAKER_01Oh, dude. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03Welcome, welcome to the show. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_05This guy gave five stars in Jurassic World. Give it to us because he saw it in a theater.
SPEAKER_03Dwayne Johnson is pound for pound, the one of the biggest movie stars of all time. The amount of money he brings in, the amount of people who see his movies.
SPEAKER_05Are you saying pound for pound because he literally has pounds of money?
SPEAKER_03And and pound for pound. Culturally, he is one of the biggest stars of all time in movie history. In modern movie history. Box office. Box office. All the numbers huge. This is his first film feature debut. He has this movie comes out in 2001. He does another movie uh called Long Shot in 2001, where he plays a cameo. That's his 2001. Then Scorpion King 2002. The Rundown, 2003, which I just started watching, which I kind of I'm excited to be watching. That's when it starts, yeah. Walking Tall, 2004, which is a remake, Doom in 2005, which is a video game added up to Ashutation. Gridiron Gang, 2006, The Game Plan, 2007, Get Smart in 2008, Race to Witch Mountain, 2009. Great. And then we get to 2010. Does three movies Tooth Fairy, Faster, and the Other Guys. Oh yeah, other guys. So he's doing a big movie every year where he's the star. They're not like the best movies. Some of them are Disney movies, some of them are kids' movies, but he is the face of a movie. Right after this, it changes everything. And then we get all the way up, we do other guys in 2010, and then there's a franchise, which we've mentioned before, that is has done four movies. They're kind of like we want to make more. Um we're owned by Universal. And who can we bring in to help inject life into this franchise? And it's Fast Five. Dwayne Johnson is brought in as Hobbes in Fast Five, and then then it turns, and and Dwayne Johnson becomes the Dwayne Johnson we know. He's not just like, oh, the WDWE star who's now doing uh Fond Disney movie, he becomes a behemoth, box office behemoth. But it all goes back to this first appearance in the Scorpion King.
SPEAKER_05I can't disagree with you more.
SPEAKER_03Really? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05That it's a good movie or that I'm not saying it's good or bad. I'm just saying this launches a career and within 10 No, this movie has nothing to do with that. Here's why. It it it I would agree with you if Dwayne The Rock Johnson was the first WWE star to parlay fame in the ring to a successful film career.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_05And he's not, he's not. I know he's not, but I'm just saying this movie is and you actually made a better case for Fast Five being a bigger movie in his career than this one.
SPEAKER_04But this is where it starts. This is where it starts.
SPEAKER_03This is I'm not saying this is the most important thing.
SPEAKER_04They threw him into a desert and just had him try to act for the first time ever. Clearly, he's got a lot to work on. Yes. And they make him eat a scorpion. Like, this is where he starts, like, okay, this is what I could be as a wrestler. They could just throw me into the fire at every film. Or I could also be uh, you know, I could take some smaller, subtle, more subtle roles or roles that aren't as risky. I think it's a good start for him. And Scorpion King honestly is that it leads to Scorpion King to create him as like an actual protagonist.
SPEAKER_03He's not just gonna be a character like a heavy. He and I I think I I agree, Mike. I think all the way up to maybe Git Smart, but I really think to the other guys, he is that he's in the other guys for five minutes. For five minutes. But what I'm saying is those all those movies post his first appearance, pretty typical WWE star, John Cena level. Like, okay. I think Stone isn't Steve Austin in Walking Tall 2. Yeah, like like what I'm saying is like that is pretty average WWE star. Like, okay, fine, you made a Disney movie, action movie, blah blah blah blah. And then Fast Five, I think, elevates him to the next level because he's by he's not even comparable to John C.
SPEAKER_05I actually think Tooth Well, so you mentioned Tooth Fairy. I actually haven't seen it, but the thing about Tooth Fairy was it actually showed just wait for the Tooth Fairy episode coming up. Uh yeah, it actually did show that he had range, right? And so it was the Tooth Fairy that actually challenged this you know macho perception that he had to show that this guy's actually got a little bit of range. He can he can work with kids, yeah, which is a big deal in Hollywood. And we know he's got muscles for days. When did he do Moana?
SPEAKER_03Moana was later, 2018. 2018. So Moana, he's already yeah, yeah. But then I agree that that he that's the thing is like it's like what what do they talk about technology? Technology, like when advancement it doubles.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like I I after Fast Five, it just he goes elevates, elevates.
SPEAKER_05I remember Fast Five, and I remember, but here's the thing is and in my you know, our memories are weird, you know. We tend to speak for yourself. We well, we tend to remember things differently, right? Yes. Um, and I remember him in Fast Five, I remember watching Fast Five in the theater, and I remember thinking, like, oh yeah, that's weird. That's Dwayne Johnson. Like, he's not like a huge movie star, but like I also was not surprised that he fit in that movie. Yeah, like he worked, like he was an established actor. I I I'm struggling with your assertion, which is what you made, is your assertion is that this movie, The Mummy Returns, is one of the most important movies in cinema history.
SPEAKER_03Because it launches one of the biggest stars of all time. Without this movie, we don't have the one of the biggest stars of all time. This begins the journey. Someone get Stevenson okay. Watch there's an actors on actors uh variety with Brendan Fraser and Dwayne Johnson. You do your own and Dwayne Johnson says to Brendan Fraser, thank you for casting me. He's like, You took a chance on me because you were yeah, but that's so so what?
SPEAKER_05It was his first, that's just his first ones. But he believes it, he agrees with me, and that's all you need about it.
SPEAKER_04All right, imagine that they didn't make a Scorpion King movie. That was his like what if it just stopped at Scorpion King?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it would be oh you remember that no, not even Scorpion King. This was it.
SPEAKER_04This imagine that.
SPEAKER_05Imagine that alternative Scorpion King, because he was already cast in Scorpion King by the time this was released. They were in post-production, yeah. Yeah, Scorpion King was a Scorpion King, the biggest movie in the Sure.
SPEAKER_03You could argue, you could probably get out of here. All right, let's move on to the last time on the O'Connells. That's a new segment. So the last time we talked we saw the O'Connells, they weren't the O'Connell's, they were not married, yeah. Uh, but they did get married, they had a kid. Yeah. Also, the O'Connells have money. We talked about this in the last episode. We weren't sure. Uh, they have lots of money, they have an estate. Um, they're still very much into each other, maybe a little too much. Uh, the parents are still very incredibly into each other.
SPEAKER_04But it's beautiful, it's good for a marriage. It's great to watch, and then you realize the kids over there playing with a dangerous brace.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes. Like too problematic, uh not taking care of your kids. Just quit hitting at it, and also and also still tomb raiding, uh, which I'm glad they haven't stopped that. Um as we mentioned the first episode.
SPEAKER_04But tomb raiding and leaving their kid out in a public area with lots of ladders.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. It was a different time of parenting, you know.
SPEAKER_04He felt bad for rescuing his parents. Like, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Kids today are so overwatched, people care way too much. Back in the 30s, we really knew how to parent. It was just better times back then. Let me tell you. And then, of course, as I mentioned, they do have a kid, and his name is Alex. Oh. Zach, uh, what are your thoughts on Alex the Kid?
SPEAKER_04So, Alex, I wasn't a fan of until after watching this movie and thinking and really like stewing on his presence in this film. Yeah. Alex himself is an interesting thing because he just becomes very second Phil, like almost immediately. He is just something to get kidnapped, but also just keep Jonathan company. Yes. But as I thought about this more, guys, I realized what the theme of this specifically this movie is about. Yes, it is reincarnation.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04So Ellie is yeah, Ellie is like reincarnate a reincarnated thing. Axon no more is like also brought back. What if Alex was also a subject of reincarnation? Oh. Who are we missing in this movie that isn't really Benny? Benny! What if Alex is a reincarnation of Benny, punished by the Egyptian gods to accompany in his entire life the people? Arch nemesis Ricokado.
SPEAKER_03I like it. I I actually really like it. The movie is ten times better now.
SPEAKER_04And also just like to keep Jonathan company, because we need Jonathan there to save the day at the end.
SPEAKER_05Yes. I really like that. Yeah. I think that that whichever necklace god you want to pull off.
SPEAKER_03Well, it is weird that they're like they do all this backstory, which we'll get into, and then it's just Alex. Just like just Alex.
SPEAKER_04So far, that's the best take of this entire podcast. I I'm glad I didn't think about it until literally like three days ago. That's incredible. But his presence otherwise is not.
SPEAKER_03Alex is Benny. Alex is Benny. Alex is Benny. And it's and it does show why he's he's a little scared of Imotep, but not really. Like he's going to he's he's he's like used to Imotep because in his previous life he worked with him. And immediately co worker.
SPEAKER_04He's like the first scene you see him and Rick's yelling at him. Just like you would Rick.
unknownOh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03Ouse, go back. Get away. And he grabs stuff. He grabs the the bracelet. Exactly. He's very, very like shiny shiny things. Wow. I the that's pretty good. All right, let's move on to Mike's nap check-in. Um I know you had trouble with the subtitles, but how was uh how was your how was your watch experience?
SPEAKER_05Uh so I split this watch into two different evenings. So I watched great strategy like thirty thirty to some odd minutes one night and then the rest of it uh actually beforehand today. I fell asleep a lot, guys. Yes. I um you know I look, I probably fell asleep five five or six times and I had to go back. Okay. Uh, you know, I'd watched it multiple times. I would wake up and I'd be like, why are we in a double decker bus? And like jump back five minutes and be like, oh, it literally shows up out of nowhere.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's okay.
SPEAKER_04I think that he kind of woke up and then texted us, like, what's going on?
SPEAKER_03Like we were there in the room with him.
SPEAKER_05That was mostly because of the subtitles. Because there was at one point, like, um, it the like Imotep is talking to Alex and uh and he's talking in English, and I'm like, Oh, so I don't need subtitles anymore.
SPEAKER_03So that was very obvious. It's a very subtle, but essentially they knew it would be weird if the kid speaks Egyptian.
SPEAKER_04But he does speak Egyptian. He does, but at the end he speaks Egyptian.
SPEAKER_03Sure, okay. So they do the um they do the trick where essentially oh they're speaking Egyptian, but they're speaking it. Yeah, they kind of like it. Like they they they do that in the first scene of the the hunt for the well I wouldn't know because I don't I never knew what language we were speaking. Yeah, you never knew, it wasn't helping you at all. Subtitles about moisturizer sometimes.
SPEAKER_04It was Egyptian. I guess Scorpion King speaks Arabic. That's uh yes, and then our you know, Pharaoh and all that stuff is Egyptian. Yeah, there's something in his like historical thing there that they're trying to play off of that I'm trying to read. Like I'm very interested, but there's no like standard. There's no consistency, yeah.
SPEAKER_03You can't you can't figure it out. Yeah, all right. Moving on to another Mike segment, Mike's theme park corner. Now we deep dived into the original mummy ride, but I wanted to bring up what could there be a Zeppelin water park ride? That's the first thing I saw when we saw the big water face from Imhotep. Um, how would you design it if we did a water mummy ride?
SPEAKER_05I'm so surprised you even brought the segment back, Luke. Um, I wish I would have read the rundown so I had time to think about this. Um I don't think it bike I really don't think it would work great for a ride. So here's the thing confrontation, which is what the mummy replaced was a water ride? No, okay, no, but it was um a ride where where you were suspended in a car and so like the track is above, those rides are really difficult to manage, and and then any ride that you add water to is just really tough if the water isn't if it's not like a boat ride.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so if you add water elements on top of the water, if you add water elements, electronics, yes, 100%.
SPEAKER_05So that was one of the issues confrontation had was that the maintenance costs were so high because there was there was a water there was water involvement, but it was it was actually like corroding the rest of the ride. Interesting. So like any ride that you have where the the vehicle is gonna be suspended from the ceiling, so you're not in a boat. Like the blimp would be and you're adding water, those typically tend to be really difficult rides to design and maintain, and they and if they do exist, they don't last very long. But what if they used hydrogen for the balloon instead of suspending? Oh, okay. So if you use hydrogen for the balloon, yeah, if it blows up, there's water there. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's very safe. So Zach's Zach's found the loophole.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I am an engineer. Yes. At heart. Yes, at our life. Universal imagineering. Well, we're gonna check back in because that maybe there's a ride for the third movie that we could that we could pitch, but I think that's a good point. There it would be.
SPEAKER_05You don't see a lot of them. Like if you it listener, if you researched uh theme park rides, you would not find a lot of rides where the vehicle is on a track that's above the passenger and there's significant water elements.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay. All right, gentlemen, let's move on to leasties and besties. Okay, we have some recurring leases and besties, just for continuity. We'll start with the leasties. This is job you'd least likely want the Scorpion King minions who die in the desert. That's a rough way to go.
SPEAKER_04Also just annihilated by Anubis' warrior. Oh no, sorry.
SPEAKER_03They become those never mind. Yeah, once again, the main gig, actually. Yeah, that's a good gig. Once again, the manual labor work, any of the workers at the dig site who die from the scarabs this time. So uh in the first movie, they die from the uh acid that comes out of the tomb, the booby trap. Um, this one they die from we'll talk about the scarabs later. Um, that's always a tough gig. The book holder for Mr. Javez. I don't know if you guys caught this. So we're at the British Museum, they're doing the seance to Awaken Imatep. And uh Mr. Javes, who works with Evie uh at the British Museum, or is at the British Museum, he is reading from the Book of the Dead or the the book from the first movie. There is one of the Red Guards, as I like to call them. Red Guards is a good name for it. The Red Guard. He is crouched and has the book on his back so Mr. Javez can read the incantation. Go go and watch it, friends. I could not unsee it. There is one of the red guards kneeling with the book on his back so he can read it. It is not a heavy book.
SPEAKER_04No, yeah, it's just pretty much like tying your shoe and then someone just puts the book on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so it's like when you like you use someone's back to sign a paper. That's kind of what it was. Yeah, maybe it gets bonus pay. This guy had done it before because his form was impeccable. You're like, okay, this guy's this he was ready to be. It's his job. He's the red guard. And I just said in general, any of the red guards. Not sure what they were there for. Are they like a cult or are they like what are they?
SPEAKER_05I thought that they were yeah, I guess because they're like Motep's followers.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so they're it's the cult of the Motep.
SPEAKER_05They're committed to the cause. Yes, okay.
SPEAKER_04Maybe so I need to do they possibly work. Does he work for the Bembridge scholars?
SPEAKER_03Did is there he works for the British Museum, but no, that was that they did pay my tuition though.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04Just want to know, like, I I didn't know if how associated with them they might be.
SPEAKER_03I feel like they might be the big evil, like see, that's what I would have loved to see if there was I here's a little like way you can make this movie, I think, a lot better. Our our friends are in London, they're living their life. Maybe the Connells are both a little bored, the parents, like sure. One's working in the museum, one's kind of like fixing cars because like he's not doing much, like getting tattoos. Yeah, getting tattoos. And then there's this whole cult around Immotep that's like in London in the museum. Kind of like if the first uh uh Sherlock Holmes, like the um Robert Downey Sherlock Holmes, there's kind of like this yeah, cult of people who are into like witchcraft and things like that. Like, I think that would have been a cool place to start, is like they're in London living their boring lives, and they get brought into it by this cult that is trying to raise Imatep. Like, I I feel like they had something there that could have been explored in a different way, but then you finally go back to the desert desert. But I think starting in the desert and then coming back and then going back in the room.
SPEAKER_05So, what is the mo uh honest question? What is the motivation for the red guard to raise Imatep?
SPEAKER_03Just to follow him and to shave his body.
SPEAKER_04So were they so like if I try to link if I try to they needed a uh Godzilla they needed a halt for or a Kong for the Godzilla, essentially. What they're doing is yeah, King Kong to fight a Godzilla.
SPEAKER_03Well, okay, let's we'll get into this.
SPEAKER_04We'll get into this because this is but go on your comment really quick. I'm sorry. Um, they the problem is that they didn't deviate from the structure of the first movie. Like that's the thing, is they needed to go from the desert to back home back in a urban setting.
SPEAKER_05Kind of like when you go back and a T-Rex from the island to San Diego to start a zoo, yes, and you got to copy that structure.
SPEAKER_04Yes, you do. They wanted to do that because it was popular in the first one, yeah. But that's the big issue here is that it just gets redundant, and essentially every there's so much of it is copy and paste from the first one. It is like the structure of three for the three uh Americans that are also three robbers in this that also get their faces sucked.
SPEAKER_03And they reference the Americans who die in the same way that they they do.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that that's they they felt it necessary to just copy and paste from the previous one.
SPEAKER_03So what's the least 1933 part of this movie? Rachel Vise's 2001 outfit in the first scene, yeah. Um, which I'm not complaining about, but uh very definitely wasn't period. Love that dress.
SPEAKER_05I I don't even remember what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_03That's okay. Uh Little Umbrellas in the Drinks uh as a reference. I don't know, I don't know if that was 1933.
SPEAKER_05Bond has some of that though.
SPEAKER_03In 33, though. In 33. No, not having the Nazis involved in this in 1933 in like each in London. There's like that's a really good one, yeah. But I get it because that would be too Indian. Indiana Jones.
SPEAKER_05But like they reference it in the first movie, though. I thought the umbrellas or Indiana Jones. Or Nazis. Sorry. Or Nazis.
SPEAKER_04I thought the Nazis no, no, okay, it would be much more like Lawrence of the Arabia of Arabia times, anyways. Yeah, because it's a 20. No, you want to talk about a boring movie. Yeah, long, too.
SPEAKER_03It's a long one. That's one I did. That's one of the few movies I I've ever fallen asleep to is Lawrence of Arabia. Yeah. That was like two years old.
SPEAKER_04It's like a month-long journey for us.
SPEAKER_03But now I probably will love it. I'm like right in the pocket. It deserves a rewatch. It's time. Um, or uh the least 1933 part of this movie is Immotep's Turtleneck slash collarless outfit, which is a long line of villains who wear collarless shirts or outfits thinking starting with Dr. No. Um, I think it looks good, but what's the least 1990 or 1933 part of this movie?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I think I I think you make a good point about not bringing up the war or the Nazis. Any of the wars, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like World War One or even World War II, like is about to happen.
SPEAKER_05Like, yeah, I I mean I think the most not 1933 thing, uh you're right, like the Indiana, they're trying to avoid being copycats, but you can't set the movie in 1933 and do a swatch buckle, yeah, and do and do something where you're tomb raiding and not and not include the Nazis because that's all they were doing.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yeah. It I feel like it would have been on the nose, but at this point it's like, why not? Right? Why not? Why not? I think you in my my movie that I'm making of this movie, the the red guard cult and are are tied to the Nazis. I'm gonna rewrite this movie. But they really aren't, they they really aren't because emotep is pulling all the strings. All right, this is a new uh leasty the mummy returns honorary least fitting title. Now, Mike, you were confused on the title of this movie. So the it's called The Mummy Returns, but what's confusing is in the first movie, The Mummy Does Return.
SPEAKER_05Right, exactly. Yeah, that's what I was confused about. Was I feel like calling a movie The Mummy, it's implied somebody's returning. Returning from the dead.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So this movie should be called The Mummy Returns Again.
SPEAKER_05Or The Mummy's Revenge, which is actually the move, the movie of the or the name of the next movie, right? No. No, no, no, Revenge of the Mummy or something like that. There's a movie that's Revenge of the Mummy. Sure. Or no, Revenge of the Mummy is actually called The Ride. Revenge of the Sith. Yeah, I think it's the Ride. Oh, the ride. The ride is Revenge of the Mummy. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So that's the better title for this movie. But the ride already had it.
SPEAKER_05But it's not even revenge, though, because like why is the mummy there? Why is the mummy giving revenge on the movie? I guess it is.
SPEAKER_04He does return. Yeah, he gives revenge on the movie set. I've been calling it the mummy also in my head. The mummy also. The mummy also.
SPEAKER_05I really like that one. Dot dot dot also. Also, yeah, there's the lipside. Yeah. Is this the time? There was a time in movie making. Maybe this is the time, you know, to the early 2000s, they really were trying to avoid using numbers.
SPEAKER_03Right, yes, I agree. I I think Jurassic Park Claw Mark is probably one of the few. Yeah, the few differences there. But yeah, I agree. They're trying because this is the VHS era, the home video era, and typically if there was a numerical sequel, it was straight to video. Okay. So like all the Disney sequels, like little Mercury.
SPEAKER_05All the screams had uh numbers.
SPEAKER_03That's true. That's true. Um but that's like playing on that whole idea.
SPEAKER_05When did Toy Story 2 come out?
SPEAKER_03Probably 2002.
SPEAKER_05So I mean, I mean, there's always exceptions. Yeah. True.
SPEAKER_03I I'm a big fan of like the two and the three and the four. Like I would just re don't give me some like calling all the mummies to the dance floor. Yeah. Alright, let's move on to leasties. Okay. Least clear plot point. Wait, wait. Least clear plot point. Why did Anubis use the Scorpion King in the first place? Well, that was I thought that was pretty clear.
SPEAKER_05To just murder people? No, no, no, no, no. He made at the beginning of the movie. This is probably the only thing that I think makes sense.
SPEAKER_02Explain it to me.
SPEAKER_05At the beginning of the movie, uh the Scorpion King is alone in the desert and makes makes a pact with a god to uh to save his life. So I look it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_03Yes, but why did a numus want to why did he want to use the scorpion king just to like kill him?
SPEAKER_05Availability is the best ability.
SPEAKER_04Also, I I think the the bigger the bigger issue is why did he like just take out the Scorpion King so quickly at the end of his conquest? Like it's like Yeah, that's the one.
SPEAKER_03I was confused. It was like they murdered a bunch of maybe it's like this like Thanos thing, like it's like the original snap. Like we gotta take out, we gotta like prune the hedges and take out half of the Anubis is the god of death, and let's bring as many people down to the underworld.
SPEAKER_05There's probably I don't look, haven't watched the Scorpion King.
SPEAKER_03I don't know how much this ties to the actual Scorpion King.
SPEAKER_05Well, okay, so this is what I was gonna say is um I think that there's a legitimate backstory that could be explored about why the god of death is in need of a servant, yes. Kind of like how like Palpatine is in need of somebody. Yes, unlimited power.
SPEAKER_03There's a rule of two in Egypt that we have to definitely a rule of two, a master and a power. Every master has a unlimited power.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Power.
SPEAKER_02All right, what are the other plot points? Sorry.
SPEAKER_03Uh digging up Imotep for a WWE match to control Anubis' army.
SPEAKER_04He was in a cocoon, right? That was weird.
SPEAKER_03Well, why was he in taste and like I thought his another thing is he his soul his soul's gone. Yeah, they got sent down.
SPEAKER_05Feel like that was established in the first movie. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03His soul's gone, and then they brought his soul back in the seance.
SPEAKER_04Yes, correct. What if that isn't his body? What if it's Benny's body?
SPEAKER_03That makes more sense because like the liquid he went into, I feel like his body would like Wait, so okay, I kind of forget.
SPEAKER_05I know we just watched this movie not too long ago, but I kind of forget like how did they dispose of or get rid of like a in the like jelly water in jelly water?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like an ogre like underworld. He kind of got a big thing.
SPEAKER_05So like uh so like okay, so let me get this straight. A mosquito lands on a dinosaur. And then lands on a tree.
SPEAKER_02It's an emote DNA in amber.
SPEAKER_05That's all connected.
SPEAKER_03It's all connected, you're right.
SPEAKER_01And voila.
SPEAKER_03It's immote.
SPEAKER_04Were there other things that didn't make sense, Luke? Uh Rick's hidden tattoo. No, that one I have the biggest problem with.
SPEAKER_03So they they they do this because he wears these these cuffs in the first movies, part of the awesome like outfit. The pack sun bracelets. The pack sun bracelets, very era. Uh very cool. Yeah, but they use that to say he's been hiding a tattoo the whole entire time that he got when he was an orphan, which is like, oh, so he was an orphan in Egypt.
SPEAKER_04But in the in the novelization, it's another place, by the way. Oh, really? Animated version. So this is okay.
SPEAKER_03Here we go. The animated series.
SPEAKER_04No. I just went. I do want a copy of it. I would not like a copy of the book. Yeah, yeah, okay. No, for the first time.
SPEAKER_05Is there a modern novelization of the first one? Yeah. Oh, yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_04They made one for every movie back in the day. Yeah. Um, but yeah, there's just confusion around that stuff entirely.
SPEAKER_03There's there's no reason. Okay. It was just to get have him have a backstory. Uh okay.
SPEAKER_04Did he need it though? Like, what is the connection there with that stuff?
SPEAKER_03Even with Evelyn, like she is she she's a reincarnated princess of the Pharaoh.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. The daughter of the Pharaoh. Her job was to protect the spear? No, the Anub. The bracelet. The bracelet. The bracelet, right? The scorpion king. You watched it today.
SPEAKER_03The scorpion king bracelet. She protected it. I watched it a week ago. Okay, so then Anuxu was not in in this movie, she was not a cock concubine. She was like the fiance.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, much more of like a stepmom vibe. Yeah. It was very much the step-mom.
SPEAKER_03Very much the step-momp.
SPEAKER_05This reminds me of a bit that Luke did on the Pirates podcast that I swear he was doing, but he claims that he was not doing it, which was in every episode that we did. He would say. So they had to go to the place to get the thing. And then once they got the thing, they went to the place to do the thing of the other thing. And I'd be like, Luke, I know what you're doing. And he goes, No, I'm just trying to keep it all together. This one has exactly that.
SPEAKER_03It is, it is. And and I think that's very fitting into a great segue to move on to besties, and we're gonna go with the Pirates of the Caribbean Honorary Bestie for Best McGuffin slash Totem, the double scarab key as a callback, the bracelet of Anubis, the aka the mini projector. Yeah. Way ahead of its time. It's the Book of the Dead and the Book of the Living come back, the Lost Oasis, the Scepter slash spear, and the Gold Pyramid. Um, so not as many totems, but a decent amount. What's your favorite one out of the totems?
SPEAKER_05So the gold pyramid, that's the thing that's at the top of the pyramid.
SPEAKER_03I would just say the whole pyramid. Yeah. You could add that, well, and then there's It does come in clutch. There's a lot of chests. There's three chests in this movie. There's the original chest. Chess watch.
SPEAKER_05Well, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. It's not that kind of podcast. Yeah. There's two chests. I need to replace dumps, guys. The only bird I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_04Wait, wait. All right. But chess watch. Three chess. We can't do it. Can't do it? But the the pyramid does come in clutch, I will say. Yes. I like it. Um it's gold. It's the only thing that like keeps them from. It keeps them alive. Yeah, it keeps them alive.
SPEAKER_03They have to climb up the pyramid and then yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Okay, I guess I was confused. Because like, what's the thing at the very end of the movie that Jonathan grabs? Jonathan grabs just it's a chest. It's a chest.
SPEAKER_04Is that a chest?
SPEAKER_05It's a legit chest. It is a box. Shannon literally turned to me and she goes, What's the importance of that? And I'm like, probably something for the next movie.
SPEAKER_04Because the spear is what he took from the first movie, right?
SPEAKER_05Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03That's the one. That's the idea Jonathan takes something every time and it connects and builds.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I actually kind of like the movie. I'm on board with the it doesn't ever get him in trouble. It didn't get him in trouble.
SPEAKER_03I thought it would be like the catalyst for this. No, it's no curse, it's nothing. It's just it's just the Jonathan judgment.
SPEAKER_05No, I'm on I'm on board with the Jonathan stealing something, creating an issue for the next movie. I'm cool with that.
SPEAKER_03We didn't have an official Brie Paradox, but is it the entire movie? Because you said that Shannon started watching this movie with you.
SPEAKER_05Shannon? Well, Shannon, okay, it's not fair because Shannon literally sat down in the middle of it. And doesn't really matter. Immediately after she sits down, is one of the scenes with it's like a five-minute scene, all in Egyptian with no subtitles. All the flashbacks. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03The flashbacks. This movie is a Brie Paradox. Um, let's move on to the Peter Jackson bestie for grimiest moment of the film, eating the scorpion when the rock got food poisoning, apparently. Um, just the scorpions guarding the tomb, scorpions everywhere. Lots of scorpion work. Um, shout out to the scorpion wrangler.
SPEAKER_04They also had more than just scarabs, too. They had rodents in this one. Rodents, yes, like here. Pest control should have been.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was crazy. Uh, I would say the scarab geyser, I'm calling it a scarab geyser when they go back to take out uh emotep, it's just a geyser of scarabs that jump out, like old. Faithful. Yes, it was. I thought it was beautiful. Yeah. Until the scarabstone. Until the mur the murder started.
SPEAKER_05Is this guy still making movies?
SPEAKER_03Um the makeout with the mummy, uh, another good makeout. Um, that that wins for me.
SPEAKER_05I'm sorry. I'm not really not willing to hear the rest of the nominees.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that wins. It's it happened in the lat first one, too. The first one. But this one was like a deep makeup. This was continually. Yeah, she liked it.
SPEAKER_05The thing with this one was not only was it like a deep, very like interest, weird thing that happened, but like the CGI was also terrible.
SPEAKER_03So that's uh the skin like who was she kissing in real life? Yes, uh, she was just a guy, a guy in green. Guy in green, I hope. Um the skin transfers, the pygmy mummies. Um, also, we've talked about it already in reference tip, but uh a timeless wisdom throughout all cinema is don't go in the long grass.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yes, I thought about it.
SPEAKER_03The red guards went in the long grass.
SPEAKER_05I wouldn't call that a grimy moment, but that was 100% on my mind when I was watching.
SPEAKER_03I thought they were monkeys at first, but that the they're more offensive than that. They're pygmies because the shrunken head thing is also part of that. Very it's not HL. Uh the tar pits, there's some tar pits. We had quicksand in the first movie. It's some like kind of tar pits, which I liked. Um the scorpion anus carving the hand. Uh, do you remember when when the guy sticks his hand in the scorpion anus? Oh, he pulls it out and it's just his bone.
SPEAKER_05Was that an anus? Um it was a hole. I I'll be honest, I don't know what it was.
SPEAKER_03Um, it was a hole, and there was scorpion stuff around it. And then um the famous uh Immotep Underworld uh trust fall at the end. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Which I thought it was actually kind of beautiful because there was no trust anymore.
SPEAKER_03What's the spirit of this category? I feel like there's a lot in here that's not grimy. I was trying to fit in some grimy stuff. Yeah, I mean the underworld's a little grimy.
SPEAKER_04I mean, the fast motion, slow motion thing was another one I would add to this because it's very Peter Jackson, like that slow motion, low frame rate thing. Yeah. Um, ghosting effect, but then like weird time remapping. Um, that was my most jarring part. That was jarring. This fight was the worst. It was also let's just throw a spear at people.
SPEAKER_03Also, we didn't actually get the WWE fight. Like Emotep doesn't fight the Scorpion King, which is like built up the entire movie, and you're like, great, Emotep versus Scorpion King. And he then he like immediately is like, Oh, I'm a servant of you. He pulls a betty. Is that what he pulls a benny? Is that what he said?
SPEAKER_05I thought he was worshiping his moisturized skin.
SPEAKER_03He was worshiping the moisture of the scorpion king. All right, so we have you said make out with a mummy, and you have the frame rates. Um because that was the makeout. I thought the scorpion anus was definitely hands. I don't know.
SPEAKER_05I didn't identify it as an anus, but yeah, that's I really wasn't looking at the positioning of the whole. Why did you pause it for 20 minutes?
SPEAKER_04He's trying to figure out what trying to figure out this podcast. It's a long reach, but we need it. All right.
SPEAKER_03This is a sequel, so we're doing a new category called Best Callback. Yeah. Uh the library bookshall fall with the pillars when Alex knocks down all the pillars, just like his mom.
SPEAKER_04It's like two minutes into the movie.
unknownHa ha ha.
SPEAKER_03I do not remember it. Yeah, the Book of the Dead, uh, the Scarab Attack, of course, um, the urn, uh, where Imitep resurrects his bodyguards. Yeah. Uh chess. Chess. We had that bread. Uh the Goldman group gets an appearance in one of the flashbacks. I don't know if you noticed the gold man group. Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. Um great.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, as they're all following Imitep, and there's like that moment where it was great to see those guys. They get a whiff of each other as they walk past each other.
SPEAKER_03And then one of my favorites, the Brimbridge scholars have been begging me to run the British Museum.
SPEAKER_04I like that change in like uh her status with the Bremburg.
SPEAKER_03Now they're begging for her to participate. That's good.
SPEAKER_05Um, I'm gonna submit an honorary nominee for the honorary category of um, and that is just the just the role that the spear plays throughout the entire movie. The whole thing is a callback. And then and then uh now knowing that John that the chest that he steals at the very end is part of the next movie, that I think I don't know.
SPEAKER_03We'll we'll find out. I have not seen the third movie.
SPEAKER_04I don't know how it connects to China, but yeah, somehow. Yeah, that's uh spoiler. Sorry. Spoiler. But what were you saying? You said that that's a yeah, there's just that that it is a great callback.
SPEAKER_03Because like we know it's talked about, like they they argue it with the blimp driver, like they like they both like are trying to fight over it. Really had forgotten about it until like and then it's great because you wouldn't have to have the subtitles because uh we see the use of what it is written on the wall right in the scorpion king tomb, of that it becomes a uh spear. It just it's a it's a healthy it's like we being on uh uh uh an airplane where it has kind of like the the visual diagrams so you know what to do. Like grab the oxygen mask, put it on the children first. It's the same thing. Grab the scepter, turn it into a spear, and kill the scorpion king. It's easy. Come on, didn't follow that? Don't don't you read walls? Don't you read? I do. I do. Alex did best line hun, let's do it your way. That was a fun one. There was a little sexual innuendo there. I don't know if you guys caught that. I I caught it.
SPEAKER_05You guys oh, there was sexual innuendo in this movie?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I guess I missed all of that. Yes, um, because it was they anyways, hun, let's do it your way. There was another way. They're about to that I learned from your father once um Evy gets superpowers. Yeah, so was she does have superpowers in this? So she was a reincarnation. Was the other was Imotep's bae, was she a reincarnation? She just looked like or just looked like her, right? I had a moment because I thought the whole idea in this movie is that they gave her a backstory of like my mom or like my I'm related to the original character, but they don't even talk about that. No, it's just like she's there.
SPEAKER_04No, why would they? That would make too much. Yeah, she just happens to have like a really like weird kink where she just wants to get possessed by the spirit of a 3000 very dry skinned mommy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, not enough moisture. Um I like this. This is uh great Brennan Fraser delivery. You lighten up, you in big trouble, you get in the car.
SPEAKER_04That's like one of the few like Rick things for the city.
SPEAKER_03I felt like Rick did not have enough in this movie.
SPEAKER_04Oh god, and it's better with uh no sound. Yes, it's great in a bar. Because you don't need to remember any of it.
SPEAKER_03Uh Jonathan, uh, he's fun in this movie, he plays himself, uh, but uh I like this. The old wipe out the world ploy. Saying what exactly the audience is thinking. Yes. They do that a few times in this movie. It actually reminds me, it's like, oh, this is like pre-Marvel quip era type of writing. It's fascinating. Uh Ardeth, I prefer the Thompson when they were going through the guns. Most useless gun. That was good. Yeah, I like.
SPEAKER_04Um sorry, I have a problem with Ardeth. I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about that now? Uh, I mean, the Thompson wasn't effective against the mummies, neither the shotgun. Yes. We all know that it wasn't helpful.
SPEAKER_03I was I thought he got a lot more time in this movie. Do you do you think his character was buffooned a little bit? Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I think so.
SPEAKER_03I think so too.
SPEAKER_04He didn't have to come like into the oasis with them. I feel like it would have been better to just keep him because he wanted to go like talk to the generals of the armies, right?
SPEAKER_05I think that there's a there's a place for him in a prequel because there's obviously so much history he has. I think without having seen any of the other movies. Okay. I think the best placement for him would be the Scorpion King.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_05In the movie that sh uh maybe he leads the force that separates the god of death. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know what I mean? Yeah. That would be cool. Um, a few other lines here. Honey, what are you doing? These guys don't use cars or don't use cars or don't use walls or doors. No, sorry. They don't use doors. Honey, what are you doing? These guys don't use doors. Uh the line that's delivered, which is the trailer line. Oh, I hate mummies. Art of this says, uh, this was my first bus ride.
SPEAKER_05That was good.
SPEAKER_03I thought that was a good one. Spivey, one of the uh kind of disposable, not Americans this time, they're British. Yeah. Um You Ain't Happy Without a Good Curse. Which I I'm glad they call out how terrible the writing is. Yeah. Alright. None of those are good. That was it? No, here's the best one.
SPEAKER_04Okay. None of them are best.
SPEAKER_03Here's the best one. Horace the Falcon. Yeah, I wondered. My best and most clever friend.
SPEAKER_04Okay. I talked about Ardith a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Horace. Horace the Falcon is artist, oh, as he says, my best and most clever friend. He is a Falcon who does uh message he does messaging um uh to the other groups. This character wins the movie for me. He uh deserved a lot more. He sacrificed his life for the group, uh, traveled many miles. Uh he escaped the emotep water ride. Uh he did so much to communicate and make sure that there was a force ready for their uh Anubis' army. He loved, he gave, he sacrificed everything.
SPEAKER_04The last scene that he's in, he was doing his job and doing it well. He's doing it well, and Mr. Echo took that from him.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Uh and he he did get his comeuppance um in the final battle. Um I was hoping we'd we'd we got a line. We didn't get a line about Horace. I was waiting for it. That's for Horace. We didn't get any of that.
SPEAKER_04It is definitely like Gandalf and Shadow Facts in a lot of ways. It is Shadow Facts, and just go into like there's clearly like a history of Falcons, and he's the Falcon Lord, uh King of the Falcons.
SPEAKER_03Yes, and uh I need I need I need a backstory. I need a full movie of the adventures of Horror Horace and Ardeth and their how they're defending against the evil cursing.
SPEAKER_04I think that's in Scorpion King 3. Just doing my research before this.
SPEAKER_03You know, it's not easy being a dad. Oh, that was a cute one. And then my one of my favorites, Jonathan! It opens up into a spear! Uh, and those are my best lines. Any other lines I missed?
SPEAKER_05Oh, there was one in there. I was hoping you would capture it because I thought about it when they said it. So I'm sorry, listeners, I can't remember.
SPEAKER_03What in the name of Anubius is this?
SPEAKER_05It's in lock and line. That's a good one.
SPEAKER_03I guess that tells you that it is a cult because he says, What in the name of Anubius is this?
SPEAKER_04I had one. Okay. By putting this bracelet on, you've started a chain reaction that will start the apocalypse. It's like, fuck. Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_03It's a call back to the the line in the first movie with the creature we have field for thousands of years. Yeah. But it just doesn't hit as much.
SPEAKER_04If the Scorpion King think it came back, would it be like the apocalypse, or would it just be kind of a bummer for the desert? Like, I don't think I don't think it the stakes were high.
SPEAKER_03No, we it was none of the stakes were high. I feel like so much is confusing that we've talked about, but I just think they really missed that they set up this showdown and it was not a showdown.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And it's a fair assessment. If you're gonna make a WWE movie and have a WWE star, one don't see GIM. This movie would be so much better if they just had the rock as the Scorpion King battling Immotep with magic powers. Like also, they've taken away Immotep's magic powers. I didn't like yeah, like when he once he's in the pyramid.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, what's the story behind that? No, there's subtitles. They just wanted to make him a coward. That I think that's pretty much it.
SPEAKER_03And that's why I hate it because it Imotep is a great character. I love that character in the first movie, and he's I it's fine that they brought him back, but it's like don't make him not cool. I liked his ending where he he he his heart breaks. I think that's a beautiful part. Yeah, that's a beautiful part, and they could have kept that, but like make him awesome. Yeah, don't make him like this. Don't make him Benny.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, don't make him Benny, don't make him a coward. Why even bring him back? They had to have a mummy for this. I think that's the thing. In order to have a mummy return, you have to have mummy returns for some reason.
SPEAKER_03Otherwise, it would have just been the mummy, the scorpion king. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, so so Scorpion CGI, they Hercules. You guys remember that show? Yes. They had centaurs in that that looked so much better. It's the same concept.
SPEAKER_03It is.
SPEAKER_04How can you not centaurs?
SPEAKER_03The centaurs in Harry Potter. Like, there's so many examples that were so much better. Yeah, it's it is it is terrible.
SPEAKER_05Just well, okay, so I okay in the defense, just a little bit, right? It is only a 90 million dollar budget.
SPEAKER_04Don't fall on the sword.
SPEAKER_05And don't fall on the there was a lot of CGI. So I I don't think I don't think that the issue is that the CGI in isolated incidents is bad. It's the problem. The problem is they had so much CGI, the budget was spread thin.
SPEAKER_03So if they had you're actually right, I agree. Like this is we're we talked about this in the first movie. We are the next year is the Clone Wars, which is was shot all on blue screen. Boof. Um so like we I I think that's a great point, Mike, is where we're at the precipice where Hollywood is over becoming over reliant on CGI. We're about to hit kind of that breaking point, and the reason that the first movie holds up is the reason why this movie does not. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I mean, in film, there's always a technical achievement that gets overused and then finally finds its niche in film after many, many atrocities. Yes. So there's a lot of those things that pop up over the years.
SPEAKER_03So which we haven't talked much about the new movie that's gonna be coming out um in a couple years. Uh Brennan Frazier was just on Jimmy Fallon. He did give us some hints of what to come. Uh, they are retconning the next movie, so maybe we'll talk about this. Um, they're gonna shoot on location. I hope they get back to the parts of the first movie that are just great. Um I don't mind him being on sets and stuff, that's fine. But yeah, the over reliance on CGI. I would love to see a tons of like practical effects, horror effects on this new movie because I think they have a huge opportunity to make it fun, campy for all ages, but like grounded in not what this was.
SPEAKER_04I hope they learn from their mistakes, but also at the same time, right now there's a lot of mistakes happening in just regular film for this kind of stuff. So yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Well, it's the same, it's the same issue, right? Where um the studios have found a new tool. This time it's called artificial intelligence, yeah, yeah. And they're like, how can we fit it into everything?
SPEAKER_04Guys, what if they just make it as AI? Like most of it's AI, except for Brendan Fraser.
SPEAKER_03No, it wouldn't. Rachel Wise wouldn't sign up. She would not sign up. She's back. She is back. She's not in the middle of the body.
SPEAKER_05Why would you say that? Yes. She she's got bills to pay. But she's done some amazing stuff.
SPEAKER_03She does not have bills to pay.
SPEAKER_05Her husband Her husband makes no money.
SPEAKER_03She has no bills to pay. She is fine. Yeah. Alright, best scene. Uh, the Scorpion King cold open, digging up Immotep, the house battle, Rick jumping through the fire and the gunfight with the double ducker bus to the bridge, which I think is great. I love it. When that's the best use of slow motion when Rick jumps through the fire to save Evie when she's on, like about to be be sacrificed.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I agree, and I think the reason why that is such a good use of slow motion is fire is very difficult to capture on film. Yeah. Right? Or like even on digital digital film, but like um, and so you kind of need because you have so much contrast of like the darkness behind the fire with the light of the fire. Now I'm getting into film theory. He's a gaffer, guys. Otherwise, the shot of Brennan Fazer jumping over the fire is completely useless.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Mike the DP. I know. Look at this. Look at it. We're rubbing off on you. I've I'm very impressed. That's like film theory.
SPEAKER_04Yes. I like the bus.
SPEAKER_03Uh the bus is great. I love that fight. It's it's it's it's it's it's frenetic, it's moving. Comes in, there's humor of it. Yeah. It's it's a well choreographed designed fight. It's it's probably the the highlight of the movie. Um, we also have meeting Izzy and Horace, um, both two great characters. The Oasis battle, aka the battle for Horace.
SPEAKER_04The battle for Horace. Vengeance. Vengeance is vengeance. Driven by vengeance.
SPEAKER_03And then um Imagine if Horace was there though.
SPEAKER_04He could have just sworn.
SPEAKER_03I know there's so much. They missed that a huge opportunity. Um just like battle. It's perfect. Great, great life for like size. And then the Mortal Kombat gong fight slash the Magi Rahirum charge slash the resurrection fight. Uh so much slow-mo.
SPEAKER_04I mean, good for them in like the second wave of Anubis' like warriors where like they're like they like are really proud that they beat all of them and then very quickly, too.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and but like they've lost all their horses, and then it's like you're right, very quickly, but um character's name, main dude Ardeth. Yeah, yeah. Um, he's the only one that seems to recognize like that. It was too easy, yeah. Yeah, which is great. I just great which is great.
SPEAKER_04I he has bad lines, but he is a good character, I think.
SPEAKER_03I he's still my favorite character. Probably my favorite character.
SPEAKER_04I actually really liked him. I really like it. I just don't.
SPEAKER_03I don't think they gave him I think they gave him too much like comedy. They're trying to like he I like it when he's more mysterious.
SPEAKER_04It was like a little too much it's a screen time, he's just not with the gang too much, I think.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's too much Scooby Gang with him, or I like how he's kind of the wise mentor coming in and coming out. Yeah, I think that's better suited for him rather being part of the Scooby gang.
SPEAKER_04Let the tattoos speak for themselves for him, yeah.
SPEAKER_03In the beauty in his beautiful face. Uh so favorite scene better or best scene you guys think double deck or bus, probably. I'm bus.
SPEAKER_05I like the I actually I do like the bus scene. I actually like the scene right before that at the house more.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, how I think the house battle is fun. I I I really enjoy that. It's it's a different setting. I have questions like how do we got there?
SPEAKER_05I don't know. But um They just went home, dude.
SPEAKER_04They just went home. You mean how they got the house? Well, all of that. All of it. Is it the family home, or is that like so?
SPEAKER_03That's the question. Is is Evie and Jonathan come from lots of money.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or did they acquire the money through their raids? We don't know. I think it's a mixture of both. I think she had she had money.
SPEAKER_05Did Rick marry Evie for the money?
SPEAKER_03Absolutely, totally money, beauty, and smarts. Yeah. And then now like uh combat skills.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, they're clearly the intimacy is still strong.
SPEAKER_03I mean, they are inspired.
SPEAKER_05I have a I have a submission for the best scene. Yeah. That you didn't mention. Thank you for reminding me of this. The scene where Rick is explaining to Evie how to use a gun. Yes. That's my favorite scene. The man splaining of how to use a gun. Well, it's not the man splaining because he the way the reason he's explaining it is not because he doesn't think she can use the gun. He's actually showing nerves for the first time.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_05And he's actually like his character is actually showing concern for her. That's a good point.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's actually doing it like she's like, I got it, but he's doing it because it's he's nervous.
SPEAKER_05He's like, I don't know how to say goodbye, so I'm gonna instead tell you how to use a gun.
SPEAKER_03It's it's interesting because that's a better that was a better like emotional scene than the actual like dramatic shit stab scene.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I think. Oh, yeah, I forgot she gets stabbed. I wasn't, I didn't really. I kind of knew that's a good idea.
SPEAKER_05That was the yeah, the scene where he's explaining the gun is more Han Solo, which is what we talked about, than the you know, the interaction of him with her after she got stabbed. Although I did one thing I did appreciate that Brendan Fraser did as an actor in the stabbing scene was touching her face.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because that is something like when I saw that, I'm like, that's exactly what I would do in that situation. Like I'd be touched like when and I feel like actors want to be like, you know, because the camera's behind him, and the camera's very clearly the shot is of her face being dead, and he's like, and the actor's probably thinking, like, I don't want to get my hand in front of the between the camera and her, you know, face, but but it actually was like, that's exactly what any reasonable person would do.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, Steven Summers great director that we don't know his other pro works of yeah, for sure. Offhand. I think he did uh no, he did another movie, yeah. Definitely did that one movie.
SPEAKER_03That one movie.
SPEAKER_04Zach, you were gonna say something else about uh um I think that with that relationship too, it's very interesting to watch it because it once Alex gets kidnapped. I think it's a totally different group. The tone switches, huge tone, but also I don't think uh I really looked at them as parents until they lost their children, their child.
SPEAKER_03Alex is like, he could have been just like an orphan kid, yeah. Yeah, like our ward. It's very funny you mentioned that because Or like an assistant. Yeah, cage boy.
SPEAKER_05Rick is like, um, see he says to Izzy, They have my son, and I will do whatever it takes to get him back. It's like, but you wouldn't do whatever it takes to make sure they didn't take him in the first place.
SPEAKER_04It's kind of a good justification for being a helicopter parent.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes, yes, it is. But they did you know, the thirties parents, they were they were just different.
SPEAKER_04It was a different time. Yes.
SPEAKER_03It was 1930s.
SPEAKER_04You know, there was no World War II yet. There's Nazis barely existed yet.
SPEAKER_03They were there, but it was like it was the we had signed the Treaty of Versailles. Everyone was at peace. Everyone is fine. Everything was fine. There's just mummies. All right, let's move on to ratings and meetings. Uh, we're gonna do our new tradition where Zach reads his letterbox review for the mummy returns.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so before we do that, I do I will put my letterbox review, but I did feel I'd feel bad for having you guys watch this. I'm you guys went through pirates and I heard those. I don't heard that trauma. I don't want you guys to relive, like, have to like put you through these things.
SPEAKER_03This was more fun to watch than any of the pirates' sequels.
SPEAKER_04Okay, that's fair.
SPEAKER_05That's fair. I did write simpl I wrote I am ending we're we're in contract negotiations.
SPEAKER_04I I did write cards for you guys because I felt bad. So there you go, Luke. And then there you go, Mike. Is it true, Joe? I'm sorry, I got a little messy there.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, Zach. This is so these are these are apology, these are consoling cards.
SPEAKER_04Yours, yours is a little different than Mike's. Winston's on my well, not really. No, not really.
SPEAKER_03This says, My deepest sympathy. Anakin said it best. I don't like I don't like the mummy returns. Sand is crossed off. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Thinking of you, Luke, after you had to watch such a really bad movie, the death of such a majestic falcon like Horace is not easy. Also, mummy pygmy pygmies question mark. Blah. I hope the third movie will be better, but it won't be Zach. That's that is true sweetness.
SPEAKER_05Mine is a is a dog, and it says, feeling a little rough. And it says, Mike, hope you feel better soon. The curse of the mummy returns can really be hard to get through. Symptoms are chronic drowsiness, wrist tattoos that you didn't have in the first movie, and your bottom half being scorpionized. Hope you get through it okay, Zach.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that is beautiful. Zach Haldank.
SPEAKER_04Just wanted to show my appreciation for sticking it through.
SPEAKER_03If you're watching on YouTube or Apple Podcasts, those are great. We'll uh we'll post these on our Patreon. Thank you, Zach.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so I will read my review. I did want to bring up that I felt that I feel, and we'll always feel that the first mummy slaps. So I do need to bring that up. The mummy re That's a slap. That's the slap of it. The Mummy Returns does not slap. Clear. A film haunted by its own petard. Yes. Returns copies of the original 1999 work, but overconvolutes the adventure by devolving the genre into a family film with too many antagonists. Still, the arc of Immotep is fully drawn, and we didn't talk about this too much as he finally understands that love is not always true and pure. Rest in peace, sir. She was not as into you as maybe you had thought.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Resurrected girl.
SPEAKER_03She leaves you to just be mainly because she doesn't want to get at uh hit by boulders that are crumbling. It was a big that was a big gap in their relationship. You know, the the skin, the moisture, this is so much. It was the boulders falling that she chose not to go save him.
SPEAKER_05This is really where, you know. Shout out to Juliet. I mean, she she she loved Romeo. Yes.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay. I was like, who's Julia? The famous love story. You can copy that you can cut that. No, no, no, no. You're right. They to truly die together is something romantic and awesome.
SPEAKER_03But she chose not to.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. But the this is not truly her.
SPEAKER_03This is true. Are you sure? Well, it is because they resurrected her soul.
SPEAKER_05Her soul is. Yeah, but you remember okay. Well, hold on. Because remember, there was a there was a time in the in the pyramid where Imotep and her were like next to each other, and then like water came up and like covered her, like kind of symbolizing moisturizing her skin. Yep. This movie is about get fighting moisture.
SPEAKER_03Fighting moisture. And he eventually could the moisture couldn't hold. And he he he left.
SPEAKER_04Finding love in our hearts and finding the moisture. You know, I feel bad for Emotep, but I there's your one word box review is moisture.
SPEAKER_05No, it wasn't. It was subtitles. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_03Check us out in Letterboxd, Zach Hall, Mike, Mike Wynn, Luke Ferris. Uh, what does this movie mean to you, gentlemen? Mike.
SPEAKER_05Nothing. Nothing. It was fun. It was fun to do this.
SPEAKER_03Yes, okay. Zach, what about you?
SPEAKER_04Not a lot. Not a lot at all. Um, maybe I uh nope, nothing. Got nothing.
SPEAKER_03This movie means to me, I think we it it was the starting point of one of the most powerful movie stars of all time. And I also think this reminds me that sometimes a movie can just be a movie on the background, on a bar TV with subtitles or without subtitles, and you can still enjoy it.
SPEAKER_04Guys, it's gonna get worse though.
SPEAKER_05This somewhere on uh a TV that uh is connected to 2012 uh cable. This movie is still playing on G4. Yes, yes, yes. G4. Wow. Yep. And attack of the show is on next.
SPEAKER_03All right, so we are doing the third movie next month. Uh, and then and we will be following that up with a fourth episode. Now, there are a bunch of mummy properties. We have the original mummy in the 30s, Universal property, we have the Tom Cruise one, and then we have some spin-offs, the Scorpion Kings. We talked about at the start of the show that we want to cover that maybe in one big mega episode. Um, we're gonna do some homework uh and divide and conquer this. So, listeners, we want to do this for you. We don't want you to have to watch all these movies, but we want to give you a summary kind of to be like an end note to this franchise rewatch series. Now, let's talk about who wants to take what. Okay. So we have the original mummies, like the black and white ones, the horse carloss. I there's the original, but I'll do some research. There's probably some other spin-offs. There's more, there's some hammer horror mummies as well that are not official. Um, which it's all you, which is all the probably um we have the Tom Cruise mummy.
SPEAKER_05Does anybody want to uh I mean that's kind of up my alley.
SPEAKER_03It does feel is there only one though? There's only one. There was that's probably right up my alley. There's only one the only one you have to do, and then um we do have five Scorpion King movies. We have the the so uh do you want to split it up? Mike, would you want to take like two? I think Zach should watch them all. I think you could take four and five. What?
SPEAKER_04I think five of them? What what's uh give me an give me like so did you watch anything?
SPEAKER_03Does anybody know anything about I watched all the trailers last night? Okay. So the Scorpion King, the first one, The Rock is in it, solo movie. Cool. Uh the second movie, uh uh Randy Couture, who is uh MMA fighter, is the villain. Okay. Um the third and fourth movie, uh The Scorpion King is the same uh actor. Uh the third or fourth one, one of them, um Billy Zane is one of the villains. Wait, what? Yes, Billy Zane is in it.
SPEAKER_05Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a good guy. Yes, uh he's wearing a wig.
SPEAKER_04Uh it's Arnold Vozlov or whatever his name is, but like with more hair. With more hair.
SPEAKER_03Uh he's not a mummy, he's just like a war, like a warlord. Oh, uh, in against Ron Pearlman, also in a wig. Okay. And then there's a couple other ones. Uh, like what's the runtime are we talking about? I I think they're all under two hours. So uh Mike, would you want to jump you know? I want to give I want to give first random refusal to Mike to watch a Scorpion King movie.
SPEAKER_05I will watch a Scorpion King movie.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04But will you be able to report back adequately on your experience? Probably not. Probably not. I will fall on this soul. Thank you. I will tell you, I will fall on this spear. The scepter. This scepter spear. If you extended it to spear.
SPEAKER_03This is Zach is as Imotep crowdsurfs into the underworld and accepts his fate. Yeah. So too, Zach Hall accepts his fate to watch all the Scorpion King movies.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03All right, gentlemen, we have our assignments, but first we have the third movie coming up next month. Thank you, listeners. Uh, thank you, viewers. If you've made it this far, bless you. Um, and uh R.I.P. emotep. R.I.P. emotep. Let's end it this way.
People on this episode
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
Stuck On Sorna
Hosted by Daniel Stephen
Back Look Cinema: The Podcast
Alonzo Richardson
There Will Be Duds
There Will Be Duds
Retro Movie Roundtable
Russell Guest, Bryan Frye, Chad Robinson, Dustin Melbardis, Lizzy Haynes, Michelle Devorah Kahn